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The Great I Am

2011-08-30T07:48:00.001-05:00

this is a great new song that we've been singing for the last few weeks at church, and i have a personal story to go with it... it's been forever since i've blogged, but this is the perfect blog story.

last Sunday morning i was sitting in church across from this man, his wife, and their toddler grandson. this particular man reminds me a lot of my dad. a whole lot, and i was missing my dad. as i watched this man worship God with his grandson in his arms my heart began to ache! oh how i want to give my dad his own grandson to hold. i had never hit this spot before! i started crying and i just couldn't get myself pulled back together. i just cried and cried and cried, it seemed like worship just lasted forever!

we were singing these songs about God being my portion, and He is more than enough for me, and all of those other good things that make worship songs great. but i couldn't sing them. in that moment, i couldn't say that God was enough for me, because i wasn't sure that He was (you know, one of those cross roads things) so i'm praying my way through worship, and crying and crying (which is rather unusual for me), and i'm asking God to purge my heart, because i know that He can be more than enough for me, if i just let Him be.

so i get through church and have a time of prayer and go back for more Sunday night. that's when we sing the Great I Am song. and i was able to say God You are the Great I Am! You can be and are everything that I need as long as i reach out to You. it was just a great moment, and now this song has a specal place in my heart. He is the Great I Am. He can be anything and everything that we need, if we just let Him.

Cheers...

America's Got Talent 2011 - Seatlle Auditions - Zuma Zuma - HD 720p

2011-06-10T17:14:00.000-05:00

feel good Friday

2011-04-02T15:53:00.002-05:00

Green is the color of spring, and our grass, and the winter wheat. it's beautiful. yesterday was a beautiful Friday. pretty fluffy clouds, could roll with the windows down, and great trip to Quincy, everything was perfect except for the fact someone was leaving the program so i had to take her to the bus station. i had a few other errands to run while i was in town. just the normal pick up stuff for other people, including some shoes. i stopped by Khols because they had the best deal on them. as i was standing there making a selection, this lady came next to me and said how great these shoes were, and i said yeah, they're even on sale right now! that got her all excited, and then she said well, do you have coupon? i told her no, and she graciously offered to allow me to use her coupon (which was great because the girl i was shopping for didn't have much money). so i took some time and helped her make a shoe selection for her daughter, and we went about chatting. and if she said it once she said it a dozen times "this is what America is about, helping out one another". i just smiled and said yes it is, but what i should have said "it's what Jesus is about too" (hind sight is 20/20 eh?). as we were about to leave this other older lady was down the isle, and said "you need to come and look at these!" they were way more cute than the original ones, and they were $4.00 cheaper. so i got all excited went and showed my coupon friend, and she got excited. to the cash register we went, and it was only $46.00!!! they were originally over $100! God really does send us blessings. as i was leaving the store, returning the coupon to my new friend, i assured her that i would return the favor to someone else. she said again "well that's what America is all about!" it felt nice to find a kindered spirit out there... what are you doing to show what Jesus is all about?

finally!!!!

2011-03-04T19:25:00.002-06:00

The most wonderful time of the year is here! and no, it's not Christmas...

it's our annual missions conference! Last night we had an Oaxaca night where i got to see some old friends. we have friends here that were missionaries on the Ivory Coast for years, along with Egyptian friends, and people from Eastern Europe, with so many more to come.

when they are here it's like a little piece of heaven. it's like the best family reunion ever, and you're always excited to see people, and there is no one you try to stay away from.

we help give them strenght and they help give us strenght... let the celebration begin...!

Jimmy Needham Benidiction from Not without Love

2011-02-13T08:15:00.001-06:00

I tried Lord
I tried Lord
I tried hard to be Your good little boy
Chin up, head high
All zeal and no joy
Thinking all my good deeds could please Jesus
Boy, was I wrong
Though I knew the right songs, all my cymbals and gongs played the melodies wrong
And it wasn’t long ‘til I saw my disease
A life spent wanting to please
On hands and knees
To make right, to appease
God help me please
This can’t be Christianity,it can’t be
The whole thing’s like insanity
Where’s the rest of eternal security?
Where’s the hope of a God big enough to cope with all my hang-ups and insecurities?
Certainly this isn’t breathing
My chest burning and heaving
It’s like my pulse is ceasing
Like my heart quits beating
Yet this I recall to mind and therefore I have hope:
You died, LordYou died, LordAssuredly,
like the coming of the dawn, the Father’s love song goes on
Drowning out my bitter songs
And breaking through walls and barriersChrist swoops in, removes sin, picks up His bride and carries her
So I can sing in agreement with the King this thing:
There’s only one thing that pleases the Father
The God-man on the tree in the midst of the scoffers
Now I finally see that Christ is what Christ offers
And I’m finally free in the love of the Father

All The Poor And Powerless (Cross Point Worship Team)

2011-02-12T18:36:00.000-06:00

rekindeled

2011-02-12T18:32:00.001-06:00

Missions is burning in my heart again. maybe it's just because it's almost my absolute favorite time of the year (missions conference) or because the team just gave a presentation on Oaxaca and it brought back so many wonderful memories. i'm not sure what it is, but it's there. i love it, i cherrish it. oh to proclaim it from the moutatin tops that Jesus is Lord!!!! here i am Lord send me!!! here is a song that i enjoy a lot, and we have sang it a few times at church, hope you enjoy it as much as i do!

my prayer for the Christians in Egypt

2011-01-31T06:41:00.002-06:00

My heart goes out to those in Egypt. We have friends that live there (by "we" i mean our church), and we have members of our church with friends/family there. in looking at the events and updates of Egypt one thing keeps coming to my mind. and it's Psalms 91. when i read it, it's my prayer for them, that God Almighty would cover them under the shadow of His wings. here it is, when you think about it, say a prayer for them. many are running for their lives...

Psalm 91
The Protection of the Most High 1 The one who lives under the protection of the Most High dwells in the shadow of the Almighty. (A)
2 I will say [a] to the LORD, "My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust." (B)
3 He Himself will deliver you from the hunter's net, (C) from the destructive plague.
4 He will cover you with His feathers; you will take refuge under His wings. (D) His faithfulness will be a protective shield. (E)
5 You will not fear the terror of the night, the arrow that flies by day, (F)
6 the plague that stalks in darkness, or the pestilence that ravages at noon. (G)
7 Though a thousand fall at your side and ten thousand at your right hand, the pestilence will not reach you. (H)
8 You will only see it with your eyes and witness the punishment of the wicked. (I)
9 Because you have made the LORD— my refuge, (J) the Most High—your dwelling place, (K)
10 no harm will come to you; no plague will come near your tent. (L)
11 For He will give His angels orders concerning you, to protect you in all your ways. (M)
12 They will support you with their hands so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. (N)
13 You will tread on the lion and the cobra; you will trample the young lion and the serpent. (O)
14 Because he is lovingly devoted to Me, I will deliver him; I will exalt him because he knows My name. (P)
15 When he calls out to Me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble. I will rescue him and give him honor. (Q)
16 I will satisfy him with a long life (R) and show him My salvation. (S)

what????

2011-01-21T10:48:00.002-06:00

Can't believe it's been so long since i've been on here, let alone blogged anything. perhaps, i will start once again...

so excited!!!

2010-08-24T09:34:00.002-05:00

One of the most exciting events happened to me yesterday! i received a letter from Elisabeth Elliot Gren!!!! Oh my goodness! a little over a week ago i finally decided to write her a letter. you know she's getting up there in age, and a couple of years ago i tried to write a letter to her, but like so many other times i just chickened out on sending it, but this time i did it. and i got a response!!!! it was just a short one page letter typed out (i went through this thing in my head about if i was going to type out my letter to her, or if i would do old school hand writing, old school won, i wanted it to have more of a personal feel to it!) and the top part was kind of a news letter, and the bottom was a letter written to me!!!

each topic of my letter was addressed in a very simple matter and was very warm too. wishing the best for my hopes and dreams, you know, things like that. she even gave me a book referral, which i will purchase just because it was a personal recommendation from one of my heroes, and two other poems in closed. one was by an anonymous author and the other one was just sweet. so i've posted both of them below. i hope you enjoy them as much as i do/did.

Child of My love, fear not the unknown marrow,
Dread not the new demand life makes of thee;
Thy ignorance doth hold no cause for sorrow
Since what thou knowest not is known to Me.

Thou canst not see today the hidden meaning
Of my command, but thou the light shalt gain;
Walk on in faith, upon My promise leaning,
And as thou goest all shall be made plain.

One step thou seest-then go forward boldly,
One step is far enough for faith to see;
Take that, and thy next duty shall be told thee,
For step by step thy Lord is leading thee.

Stand not in fear thy adversaries counting,
Dare every peril, save to disobey;
Thou shalt march on, all obstacles surmounting,
For I, the Strong, will open up the way.

Wherefore go gladly to the task assigned thee,
Having my promise, needing nothing more
Than just to know, wher’er the future find thee,
In all thy journeying I go before.

- Anonymous

He knows
He knows it all- the winding path,
The sky o’ercast and gray,
The steepness of the mountainside,
The roughness of the way.

He knows it all- the haunting fear,
The doubtings that distress,
The wond’rings and perplexities,
And all the strain and stress.

He know it all- each troubled thought,
Each anxious wave of care,
And every burden, every grief,
Or cross that thou dost bear.

He knows it all- thy weight of woe,
Thine often tear-dimmed eye,
The stabbing pain, the slow, dull ache,
And sorrow’s broken cry.

He knows it all- you are His child,
Thy wounds He takes by choice.
He gave Himself to bring you home,
So trust Him, and rejoice!

- E. Margaret Clarkson

starting c25k

2010-08-22T16:33:00.003-05:00

well, it's been 4 months since i've blogged. ouch... nothing really blog worthy to write about though, but last night i started something new. the couch to 5k running program.

i would like to use the term "start" rather loosely, because i didn't get off to a great start. however, i did start. i just keep trying to tell myself "if i can just start running, i know i'd fall in love with it".

a friend of mine said she was going to start this program, so i thought i would check it out and thought that it didn't look that hard, so i'd give it a try. i have to do something. i just keep gaining weight and getting more and more out of shape, and if i ever want to be a missionary in a remote place, i guess i'd better be in shape before i go.

so, this program is designed to teach you how to run a 5k in 9 weeks by interval training. you go 3 times a week with a day of rest in between your workout days. it's a 20 min workout. you warm up by briskly walking for 5min and then jog 60 seconds and brisk walking 90 seconds, and continue until you have reached 20 min.

i set out thinking this was going to be a breeze. jogging for 60 seconds is like nothing right? WRONG!!! the first interval wasn't to bad, and neither was the second, actually i did okay until the 4th, so i cut that one a little short, then the 5th came and i only did 1/2 of it. then i walked the rest of the way back to the house. my hair was plastered to my head, my chest was aching, and i was sure i'd done almost the whole 20 min. i took off my nifty arm band for my ipod and checked the time, and only 10.5 min had past! i'd only done half of it and thought i was going to die!!!!

i was still panting and gasping for air and was just gross when i walked in the house. by the looks of me you would have thought i'd already did my 5k! but i didn't.

this morning i was sore and stiff! we calculated how far i'd gone and it was a mile and a half in 10.5 min, so it wasn't all that bad. i plan on going again on Monday night after class, or again on Tuesday. i want to post each time i go so maybe it will keep me motivated? it's worth a shot!

if you want to check out this program, just google it!

i'm okay being me

2010-04-29T21:08:00.002-05:00

the only reason why i'm doing this tonight is because two great friends brought me a snack. my sole intent was to go to bed early. but then a knock came at the wall (yes, the wall) and an offering of cookies and ice cream in a cup were at my door. these are friends who love me for who i am. and this is a great intro to my post.

for many many years i could never say "God loves me". i could say "God loves you" or "God loves us" but never "God loves me". through adverse circumstances God has shown me it's okay to be me. He has showed me that he created me just the way that i am. so i like to eat ice cream out of a cup, and i like to wear bright colored socks with plaid shoes. and i have a cat named Itka. i have learned to march to the beat of my own drum. and it's taken 29 years to learn it's okay.

before i wanted to fit in so badly. i wanted to wear the right clothes, like the right things, talk the right way, only to "gain" friends, or to cling tightly to the few that i had. i felt that i had to fit into whatever my friends thought i should do. i was plagued with fear of rejection! and i knew that if i would be the real me, then it would be weird and awkward, and i would drive people away. so i kept my real self to myself. i mean we aren't just talking high school stuff here, i'm talking adult stuff! i was a mess, and i was miserable! always afraid of what people were really thinking about me, and hoping that they wouldn't find out who i really was because that would destroy everything that i was trying to be.

and i felt that God felt the same way. that if i didn't talk right, act right, dress right, hand out with the right people, then i would be unacceptable, and would be thrown to the trash heap or be sold at a discounted rate.

then, something changed. one person that i tried so hard to impress faded out of my life, and i began to be me. i began to do the things that i wanted to do how i wanted to do them. express myself in ways that i would never have done before because of fear of losing my friend. i got tired of trying to be everything that everyone wanted me to be, or better yet, everything that i thought that everyone wanted me to be. i finally began to gain some confidence. i began to be okay with me being me. and it did something.

it wasn't until i was talking with my boss and spiritual leader about something and she said "you are unique and have a unique calling on your life, and you're fine with it until things pile up." and she was so right. i began sharing some things with her. and that's when i realized that i could say "God loves me!" talk about victory! it was amazing. i've been saved for almost 8 years, but have never been able to verbalize that God loves me. it's one of the most exciting things that has happened to me in a long time.

one of the songs that has had a wonderful effect on me since the first time i heard it is "oh how He loves us" i first heard the Crowder style. and i fell in love with it. not because i had the revelation that God loves me, but because it touches a deep deep part in me, that nothing else can touch. We sang it last night in church and i cried. i just checked my itunes and i have 4 versions of that song. and one version has been played 178 times in 9 months.

i want to leave you with an encouragement:

God made us all special, and He doesn't expect you to be just like your friend or sibling, or co-worker. God made you to be you, and no one else. for you to try to fit into that moulding is unnatural and will cause harm to yourself, and people around you. i hope that if this is something that you struggle with that you will find someone to talk to. and if your friends stop being your friends after you start being you, then maybe they were never really your friends to begin with!

"oh how He loves us!"

coming soon

2010-04-21T21:00:00.002-05:00

i think i feel a new post coming on. i've got a couple of ideas running around in my head so we'll see what we come up with!

poem

2010-04-05T10:31:00.001-05:00

Give me the courage to live

Give me the courage to live!Really live—not merely exist.Live dangerously,Scorning risk!Live honestly,Daring the truth—Particularly the truth of myself!Live resiliently—Ever changing, ever growing, ever adapting.Enduring the pain of changeAs though ’twere the travail of birth.Give me the courage to live,Give me the strength to be freeAnd endure the burden of freedomAnd the loneliness of those without chains;Let me not be trapped by success,Nor by failure, nor pleasure, nor grief,Nor malice, nor praise, nor remorse!Give me the courage to go on!Facing all that waits on the trail—Going eagerly, joyously on,And paying my way as I go,Without anger or fear or regretTaking what life gives,Spending myself to the full,Head high, spirit winged—On . . . on . . . till the shadows draw close.Then even when darkness shuts down,And I go out alone, as I came,Naked and blind as I came—Even then, gracious God, hear my prayer:Give me the courage to live!~ by Howard Thurman (1899-1981)

Missions

2010-03-11T06:50:00.002-06:00

we just ended our wonderful missions conference. it's one of the most wonderful times of the year. we had about 70-80 guests. we have services every night, and represetives from 9 different countries and 10 different states. on Tuesday night our speak shared this with us. i'm not really sure where it came from, but it is wonderful. it would be even more wonderful if we all lived like this. enjoy, and become a member of the fellowship of the Unashamed!

I am a part of the fellowship of the Unashamed. I have the Holy Spirit Power. The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I won’t look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still. My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, and my future is secure. I am finished and done with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tame visions, mundane talking, chintzy giving, and dwarfed goals.
I no longer need preeminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits, or popularity. I don’t have to be right, first, tops, recognized, praised, regarded, or rewarded. I now live by presence, learn by faith, love by patience, lift by prayer, and labor by power.
My pace is set, my gait is fast, my goal is Heaven, my road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions few, my Guide is reliable, my mission is clear.
I cannot be bought, compromised, deterred, lured away, turned back, diluted, or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of adversity, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity.
I won’t give up, back up, let up, or shut up until I’ve preached up, prayed up, paid up, stored up, and stayed up for the cause of Christ. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I must go until He returns, give until I drop, preach until all know, and work until He comes.
And when He comes to get His own, He will have no problem recognizing me. My colors will be clear for “I am not ashamed of the Gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes..” (Romans 1:16)

FOR I AM PART OF THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE UNASHAMED!

great new song: not of our hands by 1000 generations

2010-02-27T21:21:00.001-06:00

Let this be not of our hands, but by Your Spirit
Let this be not of our hands, but by Your Spirit

Lord we don’t want to move without You
No we don’t want to work in vain
Lord you know we want to be used by You
But we don’t want anything built in our strength

Cause we don’t want to move
We don’t want to move without You
No, we don’t want to move
Don’t want to move without You

Let this be not of our hands, but by Your Spirit
Let this be not of our hands, but by Your Spirit
Cause we don’t want to move, don’t want to move, without You
We don’t want to move, don’t want to move, without You

Lord, You know we don’t want to go before You
No we don’t, want to keep running
So Lord we pray that we will stay found in You
For without You, we cannot do anything

We don’t want to move
We don’t want to move
Don’t want to move, without You

Not by power, not by strength
But through Your Spirit and by Your grace
If it’s on our hearts, we’ll be on our face

Created on April 10, 2008 08:03:51 by ultaviolet-whitegirl

sweet e-mail

2010-02-24T17:41:00.002-06:00

this is a super sweet e-mail from 3 ladies from across the women's home. we wanted to bless them with a snow man, but as you can see the snow didn't stick. however, here is the super sweet e-mail.

Thank you ladies for making a beautiful snow lady. I had hoped you would be able to make a handsome snow man and then we could have Pastor and Ms. Laurie. You tried to make it Tuesday in front of our apartment but the snow did not have any moisture to hold the snow together, but we ladies in apt D enjoyed the snow show you put on for us. Thank you very much.

valentines day

2010-02-14T20:58:00.003-06:00

today is/was valentines day. and yes, i'm single on valentines day, but, no big deal. i saw on msn or something to that effect about what to do if you're single on valentines day...again. it simply said 3 words. zappos.com yup, such a great reason to buy shoes, because i'm single on valentines day again. don't worry, i didn't do it. however i thought it was pretty funny!

Jesus was/is my valentine again this year. you can't go wrong with Him. here's some reasons why:

1) He loves God

2) He is sooo faithful and will never leave me, even when i mess up really bad and give Him the silent treatment.

3) He loves me so much that He would die for me, actually He's already done that.

4) He stays up all night to watch over me and sings over me Zeph 3:17

5) the list can go on and on and on and on and... oh you get the point!

happy valentines day!

vacation

2010-01-22T15:46:00.002-06:00

this is a summery of vacation thus far.... above (the green leafy stuff) is my dad's hydroponics, it's his new hobby, my dad loves spending time on his plants, don't you worry, it's nothing illegal! it's actually romaine lettuce, and spinach. you know, those good for you leafy green things. and also, good pictures of my dad's snack bucket. i about fell out of the chair because i was laughing so much. dad said he's been working on something like this for about 2 years. my dad drives truck, and he likes to eat some snacks when he's driving, however, my dad is a bit of a neat freak, so the crumbs from his cookies and chips drive my dad nuts. so he made up these little buckets with strings through them to hang around his neck to catch his crumbs. anyway, i'm sure this is not near as funny to you 1) because you don't know my dad, and 2) i think it's a "you had to be there moment". i really enjoyed my time with my dad.

today i came to the Quad cities (ill, ia. border with 4 cities in it). it is quite the charming area. i'm in the hotel by myself b/c my mom's working. i took a little stroll around the block, they have a nice theater right down the road that is performing Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat. and right across the street is a charming little coffee shop called Theo's, i got a nice Carmel Latte that is perfectly blended. and around the other corner this is a Artery shop. i tried going in, but the doors were locked. i tried to get out and all the doors were locked. so i got some one's attention that was in the office, and they went to let me out and they did a great and fast job of... opening the door. that's right, it wasn't locked, i guess i just tried all the wrong doors. oh well, what would a trip to the city be worth if there was no silly stories?

i always said that i was a country girl and to live in the city would be unthinkable. however, i think it might be workable for me now!

so here you have it, the post that i promised.

what????

2010-01-13T09:29:00.001-06:00

i promise, a real bog coming soon. Twitter has kind of taken over!

Christmas

2009-12-24T09:26:00.000-06:00

YEAH!!!! IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE MORNING!!!! ONE MORE SLEEP TILL CHRISTMAS!!!!

2009-12-06T13:24:00.000-06:00

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond imagination. It is our light more than our darkness which scares us. We ask ourselves – who are we to be brilliant, beautiful, talented, and fabulous. But honestly, who are you to not be so?

You are a child of God, small games do not work in this world. For those around us to feel peace, it is not example to make ourselves small. We were born to express the glory of god that lives in us. It is not in some of us, it is in all of us. While we allow our light to shine, we unconsciously give permission for others to do the same. When we liberate ourselves from our own fears, simply our presence may liberate others.’

- Marianne Williamson in Return to Love: Reflections on a Course in Miracles

blogging

2009-11-28T17:07:00.002-06:00

I keep checking and expecting the blogs that i follow to have some mushy thanksgiving post, but none of them do, and i don't have mushy thanksgiving post either. oh well.

God knows

2009-11-07T18:44:00.002-06:00

this is my new kitty, Itka. God gave her to me, and i'm soooo excited. God knows what we need and what we want. and Itka is what i want, and maybe even what i need. here's the story:
when i cat sat for someone while they were away on their honeymoon, when they called to come and get her, i was really upset. i did not want to give her up at all. actually i was a little traumatized, but i managed to recover.
my friend Crystal said that she was going to get me a kitten for my birthday. then she found out it would cost about $300.00 from the humane society to get everything done. but she was still persistent and decided she was going to do this. she searched hours online to try to find one. so i told her just let me check the humane society and maybe we could find one close.
so another friend and i jumped in the car on Thursday night to do an errand and go to quincy to the humane society with some light shopping on the side. we arrived at the society, but they were closed. big let down for both of us. so i decided to come and look on Tuesday when i was in town.
but low and behold on Sat. morning a co-worker got on the computer to check her e-mail and there was a free cat. i saw the pic. and my heart melted. and it was free, and it was de-clawed, and spayed, and with a whole bunch of extra freebies. God knew the desires of my heart. here's the pic!

WHAT?????

2009-10-27T21:29:00.003-05:00

what??? could this be an actual post? i think it is! things have been so busy here it's nuts! i must say my desire to blog has wained a bit since i started "disciplines of life" Bible college class, we have to do a journal every week, and it's sorta like a blog. so by the time i do it once, i don't really want to do it again, but here we are anyway! did anyone else notice that October flew by? here we are at the 27th and i just got use to writing October! okay enough of that!

so, we had our annual bon fire last Saturday night, and it was beautiful. the lake was pretty the trees fantastic and super good food. i think everyone had a good time. one girl wiped out on the gravel as she was chasing a soccer ball, been a long time since i bandaged a skinned hand! and yes, we went snipe hunting!!!!

just for a laugh, here's what wikipedia has to say about snipe hunting:

A snipe hunt, a form of wild-goose chase that is also known as a fool's errand, is a type of practical joke that involves experienced people making fun ofcredulous newcomers by giving them an impossible or imaginary task. The origin of the term is a practical joke where inexperienced campers are told about a bird or animal called the snipe as well as a usually ridiculous method of catching it, such as running around the woods carrying a bag or making strange noises. Incidentally, the snipe (a family of shorebirds) is difficult to catch for experienced hunters, so much so that the word "sniper" is derived from it to refer to anyone skilled enough to shoot one.^[1]

In the most popular version of the snipe hunt, especially in the American South, a newcomer is taken deep into the woods late at night and told to make a clucking noise while holding a large sack. The others, who are in on the joke, say that they will sneak away and then walk back towards the newcomer, thereby driving snipes towards the bag holder. The frightened snipes, they say, will be attracted to the clucking noise and easily caught in the bag. The newcomer is then simply left in the dark forest, holding the bag, to eventually realize his gullibility and find his way home or back to camp.

A wild goose chase can also be more serious, either a deliberate attempt to thwart an opponent by sending him/her off on a quest based on misinformation, or a mistake on one's own part leading to a hopeless quest. ^[2]

we have some young ones right now, and one of these young ones are from Russia. it took a while to convince her that there were snipes, we just walked along the timber line looking for them and calling them. she wanted to stay in one spot for a long time because someone else saw a snipe there and she really wanted to see it and catch it. i had to move her along because she was so obsessed with finding one.

then sunday during lunch we were talking about snipe hunting and someone said they thought it was fake, and the girl from Russia spoke up and said it had to be real because someone had claw marks on her bowl and a hole where the beak went through. i had to stifle my laughter because i didn't want to blow it. i asked her if they had snipes in Russia and she told me no. she said she asked her dad about them, and he said they were real (way to go dad!).

so now she is utterly convinced that snipes are real, and she said next year she's going to catch one.

well, so long for now!

2009-10-21T08:50:00.001-05:00

all sunshine makes a desert. arab proverb.

Jesus says for us to expect hard times in our lives. when they come will we run to the cross for comfort, or to entertainment and people that will pat us on the back and tell us all the things we want to hear?

bloggin'

2009-10-14T21:36:00.002-05:00

i have not abandoned my blogspot. it's just one of those many things that have to be put on the shelf somewhere! as soon as i can and have something blog worthy that won't take a million explanations, i'll write about it.

Michelle's wedding is this weekend, so i'm sure i'll have something to say!

until then...

2009-10-05T21:49:00.002-05:00

This is my new buddy Jayden. He just came into the world last Thursday, that's October 1st. he was quiet reluctant to come, but he came anyway. isn't he cute? he's got the cutest chin, and man, look at those fingers!!!! they are so long!!!! my best friend Ashlee had him. she did a great job and will be a great mom, Jared will be a great dad too. he weighed 8lb 13oz. and 20 inches long. he's just simply beautiful.

Transformations II: The Glory Spreads

2009-10-04T13:22:00.001-05:00

check this out. it can happen

God does care abou...

2009-09-23T08:05:00.002-05:00

i'm in a wedding in about 3 weeks, it's my friend Michelle's wedding. we've already had the shower, we have our dresses, and need to be altered and such. so we are well on our way. oh, and the pic above are the shoes i get to wear with the dress. the color of the text you are reading is the color of my dress. but, i have a story about the shoes, are you ready?

the last time i truly blogged, you may recall it was about living more simply. and one of the things i "resolved" to do was to not buy any more shoes for a year, except the pair for the wedding. well, a few weeks back i went into a shoe store to try to get some ideas for the wedding shoes, i had no idea what Michelle was going to pick out, or if it would be left up to us to find our own. and as i was walking down the isle i saw these shoes, and i thought they were super cute. i stood there and looked at them for a bit and had to pull myself away from them. i just kept thinking "man, they're stinkin' cute!" i had to hurry and walk out because i wanted to try them on so badly, (i have a friend who has a saying "what the eye has not seen, the heart cannot want" and how true it is!) anyway, i just said i'd forget about them because i was not going to spend money on another pair of dress shoes.

at Michelle's bridal shower she had told me that she was just going to let us pick out our own shoes, but there was this style that she thought would look good with them. she gave me the name and brand of the shoes, so the next time i went to town i could look for them.

the next day i walked into the shoe store and asked the clerk for help (because i knew i would be drawn back to that shoe) and i told her the style i was looking for, she couldn't find them so she called around to find out, and they did have them. and it just happened to be the very shoe that i wanted real bad.

i think because i resolved not to spend my money on yet another pair of shoes, God allowed me to have the pair that i wanted. just because i decided to keep my commitment. God is soo good!

2009-09-18T19:42:00.001-05:00

i have not abandoned you oh blogspot, just a little busy right now :)

love....(lifehouse-your all i want)

2009-09-05T21:19:00.001-05:00

this is such a great song!

hey!!!

2009-09-05T16:19:00.001-05:00

just wanted to let yall know that everything is going fine. busy, but nothing really blog worthy class has been going good. i'll touch base with you later!

Kunstrad EM 2009 Carla und Henriette Hochdorfer

2009-08-27T20:14:00.001-05:00

this is just weird! crazy talented, but weird!

How he loves us - John Mark (Legendado)(Habilite Legenda)

2009-08-26T12:40:00.001-05:00

please watch this. all of it. it's great!

Memory

2009-08-24T05:29:00.002-05:00

Just thought i'd drop you a note and let ya'll know what i'm up to. Our wonderful Bible college has started offering evening classes! yeah! it's on Monday evenings from 6-9, and yes, the whole thing is class except the 15 min break we get after 90 min (reminds me of high school!)

anyway last Monday was quiet the experience. it's been a while since i've been a student. and i've forgotten how disciplined you must be to be a student. after my experience i think you have to be more disciplined to be a student than an teacher (then again maybe not.) anyway, there are 33 people in the class which adds a different dynamic because it's so large. Felicity (our teacher) handed out the SOP (standard operating procedures) last week, which showed us what the class was going to "look like".

because of the nature of the class (in case i forgot to tell you, it's called disciplines of life talking about spiritual disciplines), it will be hard to give a grade, so most of it is objective. which translates into, if you turn in your homework, you will pass. we have these journal entries we are required to do, which is interesting, i love to journal! those are due every week, and the bigger projects are a fasting project, and the one that made me most nervous is the memory project.

it sounded so overwhelming at first, all of this memory work, it's Psalms 103 out of any translation we like. we have 4 weeks i think to memorize the first 2 verses, then every week after that we add two more. so i've been working on it. the problem with it is that there are so many of the verses in songs that we sing, that it's hard to keep the songs separate from the rendering that i choose! but so far it's going pretty good. i even put it in my phone so i can memorize it while i'm at dr. offices waiting and such as that.

so without further aude, here is the chapter out of the translation i choose, it's the HCSB translation. enjoy, and maybe challenge yourself some to begin to memorize Scripture again, i know for most of us it's been a while.

Psalm 103
The Forgiving God
Davidic. 1 My soul, praise the LORD, and all that is within me, praise His holy name. (A)
2 My soul, praise the LORD, and do not forget all His benefits. (B)
3 He forgives all your sin; (C) He heals all your diseases. (D)
4 He redeems your life from the Pit; (E) He crowns you with faithful love and compassion. (F)
5 He satisfies you [a] with goodness; (G) your youth is renewed like the eagle. (H)
6 The LORD executes acts of righteousness and justice for all the oppressed. (I)
7 He revealed His ways to Moses, (J) His deeds to the people of Israel. (K)
8 The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and full of faithful love. (L)
9 He will not always accuse [us] or be angry forever. (M)
10 He has not dealt with us as our sins deserve or repaid us according to our offenses. (N)
11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His faithful love toward those who fear Him. (O)
12 As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. (P)
13 As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him. (Q)
14 For He knows what we are made of, remembering that we are dust. (R)
15 As for man, his days are like grass— he blooms like a flower of the field; (S)
16 when the wind passes over it, it vanishes, and its place is no longer known. (T) [b]
17 But from eternity to eternity the LORD's faithful love is toward those who fear Him, and His righteousness toward the grandchildren (U)
18 of those who keep His covenant, who remember to observe His instructions. (V)
19 The LORD has established His throne in heaven, and His kingdom rules over all. (W)
20 Praise the LORD, [all] His angels of great strength, who do His word, obedient to His command. (X)
21 Praise the LORD, all His armies, His servants who do His will. (Y)
22 Praise the LORD, all His works in all the places where He rules. (Z) My soul, praise the LORD!

CompassionArt Friend Of The Poor Video

2009-08-16T14:11:00.001-05:00

i would like to title this blog "simplicity". it's been on my heart to live more simply. now with this new doctor thing i will be forced to live more simply ;). anyway, i saw this video last night and it compeled me even more.

i would like to say i'm very mission minded, and pray that i live that way too. recently i wanted to buy a new pair of jeans. no big deal right? there isn't really anything wrong with my old jeans, except that they sag a little bit, but in reality they are totally fine. as i was pondering buying a new pair of jeans at roughly $40.00 i thought i could pay for my children. i have "adopted" (or sponsored) 2 children through worldvision. one in south america, and another in southern africa. and as i was thinking about buying these jeans, i thought these girls don't have any clean water, and have very little education so if i were to spend my money on them rather than me, i might be able to give them a hope for the future and increase their chance of hearing the gospel of Jesus Christ. needless to say, i went with the kids.

i have wanted to make this change in my life several times, specaly when i came back from Oaxaca, i was overwhelmed with all of my belongings and couldn't believe that i needed so much stuff. so here i go once again, making a movement towards the life of simplicity. learning that relationships mean so much more when you don't dwell so much on all of the material things.

i was talking to my friend Tina about it, and she said this saying that i really liked "live simply so others can simply live."

i think we could all learn to make due with what we have. if i made a committment not to buy another pair of shoes until the ones that i have give out, then i would save a couple of hundred dollars a year! and just think, if we used all of the things we have stached around our house b/c they weren't quiet what we were looking for, think about all the money we would save. and then if we would put that money towards bettering the future for children whether it's our neighbors, or someone across the world, or maybe even save for a missions trip of our own. think of the impact we would have!

i challenge you to do this with me. don't buy anything new for the next month unless it's of dire need. let me know if you decide to do it please!

enjoy the simple life.

death

2009-08-01T16:23:00.002-05:00

Recently my boss/friend's husband died. it was really sad and sort of sudden. it's very sad. i'm not sad that he is gone because i know he's better off, but what i am saddened by is he left a wonderful wife, and 2 young children.

you know we all grieve in different ways, but it seems that it all boils down to the same thing. the sadness, anger, denial, and how we sit around and tell funny stories and the good things. you know all that, we've all been through it. dying is a part of living, no matter how much we don't like it.

since he's passed away i've thought about all the loved ones i've lost. and i remember all the things that people told me to try and comfort me "i'm so sorry", "they're in a better place now", "they aren't suffering anymore" and they go on and on. oh how i hate those things. they are said to try to comfort, but sometimes i think they rub more salt in the wound.

i found myself today taking food to the family, and i saw my boss for the first time in 3 weeks, and i knew when i saw her i would cry. not because i'm sad her husband is gone, but because she hurts. we hugged and i heard myself say "i'm sorry!" oh how i wish i could take those words back, but i can't. i took a short drive around the block and thought, "i wish there were some new phrases we could say when someone died. something that might actually help them. but i know nothing that can be said or done could ever help bring comfort to the aching heart. as we stood there in the embrace, and my ever strong boss was crying, sobbing while we were hugging, we broke the embrace by talking about how the cats were doing. ahhh..... the relief of something alive, something light hearted! and at the same time the crying and the awkwardness seemed to dissipate too.

as much as we want to ignore death, or hide from it, or avoid those that are grieving so we don't have to deal with the aches in our heart, we can't. we might as well face the fact that we were born to live, and live to die.

sometimes we question why God allowed this to happen or that to happen, and why this person went and this one got to stay, but as Elisabeth Elliot would say "that's not our business, it's Gods."

The Toast Song

2009-07-28T20:49:00.001-05:00

finally figured out how to post videos from youtube! watch out! YEAH TOAST!

who are you?

2009-07-22T22:01:00.002-05:00

don't worry, i haven't left the blogging world. things have been uber busy. but an update is coming soon. i can feel it!

good friends

2009-07-16T17:45:00.002-05:00

for about the last 4 days things have been very interesting. it's been a good time for the women's home and other people pull together in community. there is a personal side, and a community side.

monday evening our boss's husband had to be flight vac to columbia. he has a liver disease. it was so sad, especially knowing their two young children. i know it was hard for our boss to have to up and leave.

my friend has been helping take care of the kids for the last 3 years. a wonderful thing, so her husband came and took the kids. they are now "chillin'" with Ashlee and Jared. pulling together.

i got really sick last week. couldn't breath very well and was coughing something fierce! horrible. if that wasn't bad enough, i no longer have a voice! it's sometimes slightly louder than a whisper, other times hardly a whisper.

so my friends are taking care of me, making sure i'm not talking to much. making me take naps and rest my voice. one of my friends is even getting ready to come and "kitty sit" with me while watching the sound of music. even though we can't talk.

that's what friends and living in community is all about. helping your boss take care of her kids and kittens, and house, and having someone watch a movie in silence. ahhh, community.

absolutly ridiculous

2009-07-13T09:08:00.002-05:00

this came from foxnews.com. Pastor talked about it yesterday, but this is nuts!!!! cursing is not good for you!!! IT'S SIN!!!!!!!!!!

That muttered curse word that reflexively comes out when you stub your toe could actually make it easier to bear the throbbing pain, a new study suggests.
Swearing is a common response to pain, but no previous research has connected the uttering of an expletive to the actual physical experience of pain.
"Swearing has been around for centuries and is an almost universal human linguistic phenomenon," said Richard Stephens of Keele University in England and one of the authors of the new study. "It taps into emotional brain centers and appears to arise in the right brain, whereas most language production occurs in the left cerebral hemisphere of the brain."
Stephens and his fellow Keele researchers John Atkins and Andrew Kingston sought to test how swearing would affect an individual's tolerance to pain.
Because swearing often has an exaggerating effect that can overstate the severity of pain, the team thought that swearing would lessen a person's tolerance.
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As it turned out, the opposite seems to be true.
The researchers enlisted 64 undergraduate volunteers and had them submerge their hand in a tub of ice water for as long as possible while repeating a swear word of their choice.
The experiment was then repeated with the volunteer repeating a more common word that they would use to describe a table.
Contrary to what the researcher expected, the volunteers kept their hands submerged longer while repeating the swear word.
The researchers think that the increase in pain tolerance occurs because swearing triggers the body's natural "fight-or-flight" response.
Stephens and his colleagues suggest that swearing may increase aggression (seen in accelerated heart rates), which downplays weakness to appear stronger or more macho.
"Our research shows one potential reason why swearing developed and why it persists," Stephens said.
The results of the study are detailed in the Aug. 5 issue of the journal NeuroReport.

wishes

2009-07-10T08:21:00.001-05:00

I WAS WISHING THAT MY WISHES WERE WHAT GOD WISHED, AND IF MY WISHES WERE NOT WHAT GOD WISHED, I WISHED THAT I COULD WISH THAT MY WISHES WOULD GO AWAY, BUT THE WISHES WERE STILL THERE. ~ELISABETH ELLIOT

ketchup showers, mud baths and other fun 4th of july activities

2009-07-07T10:11:00.002-05:00

this post is going to be full of those "had to be there moments," but none the less, i want to put our experience into written word. this may be lenghty!

on Friday the weather was beautiful. blue skies, with pretty cotton looking clouds, and many many people excited to serve and be served. we had a blast, that is until people started leaving because they were scared of the rain. the troopers were the ones that stuck it out! we had free food, a rodeo, music, games for the kids. oh the fun!

i started out shuttling people around. i love it! ask me to do it anytime! got to go driving through fields to pick up people, and to deliver them to the fun field! many many happy, dirty, faces. well, the kids had dirty faces. the adults looked pretty clean! this day went without much incident. we were home by 9. did i mention i also helped in the food service part too? that was a lot of fun to. while we were serving, the excitement was going on at the rodeo. the bull named "Marshmallow" jumped the fence and headed for the trees, it took 2 cowboys and 10 minutes to get "Marshmallow" back in the fence. the guy announcing the rodeo said "Marshmallow ain't no fluff." we had about 12,000 people there.

onto Saturday. it rained and rained and rained. oh how we were praying it would stop! we got to the tent at 9 a.m. and it was so yucky! we were putting wood chips and straw down everywhere trying to soak up the mud, so it wasn't so messy. but to no avail. it was still as nasty as ever. it didn't prevent 6,000 people from coming though! so that was good. it seemed as if everyone was in good spirits during my shuttle hours. wet, a little muddy, but good spirits.

the fun came when people wanted to go back to their cars. i knew this one field was where people were getting stuck, so i tried my hardest not to go down in it, but then there was this 89 year old little man who was using a cane to walk got in my van and said "Lot C please" i cringed! anything but lot C! that's where people are getting stuck! please not lot C. so he rode around with me for a few min. then to lot C we went. i thought i stopped on some solid ground, but when i tried to leave, i was stuck! did i mention i had about 15 people in the van with me. the man sitting in the bench seat behind me said "hun, i think you're stuck." i dreaded getting on the CB. that was the last thing i wanted. but i had to humble myself and get on there and i eloquently said "ummm, i think i'm stuck, i'm in lot C." the guy behind me said "hun, there ain't no thinkin' you are stuck." the men tried to tell me how to get out, but nope, didn't work. they abandoned ship and headed for the hills. (we were down in a valley). they told me the captain must go down with the ship. so i sat for 15 min and finally they came and towed me out. oh the humility! that made it 3 times i've been stuck in a ministry vehicle. ugh! we go about our day still driving soaking wet, cold people to their vehicles. one time someone asked me at the drop off point if the folks that were standing there were coming or going. i said "well, they look pretty dry, so they must just be coming." they thought that was funny. i got stuck another time in a lot, but the parking attendant helped me out with that one.

the last group of ladies that i had in the van told me they were from Hamilton/Warsaw area. i said so am i! so they started to ask me if i knew so and so, and so and so. i told them no, and the lady right behind me asked if i knew Brad Heitman. i'm sure my eyes about popped right out of my head and i said "Yes!!! he was my high school crush for some time!" she just laughed and told me he was dealing cards at a casino, and he'd gained some weight. (i was thinking, who hasn't). she proceeded to tell me that she was his adoptive mom. it was so funny! out of all the people there, his mom gets into the van. she told me she would tell him hello for me, b/c she was going to be talking to him that night, but i assured her he wouldn't remember who i was. talk about funny!

so i get to the food service tent. i had to bring the big van, and i wasn't real happy about that b/c i didn't want to get stuck again. but i took it anyway. the food line was moving smoothly, then got real slow. it had gotten colder and wetter. not fun. but we continue to serve our hearts out and making the best of any situation. the ladies told me it was time for a potty break, and i tried to get them to jump in the mud with me since we were already muddy, but they weren't so sure. then they were sure. we started jumping trying to get one another dirty, but we only ended up getting ourselves all messy. it was a blast. then we did it again in a big field. one of our families from India was here and he was laughing and laughing. i don't think women in his country do things like that. i invited his little boy to come with us, but his dad wouldn't let him (no harm in asking). we had so much fun. everyone had their pants/shorts/capris covered in mud, and some on their shirts. 10 min had gone by and it was time to get back to work. only a little bit to get the tables cleaned up before fireworks.

so to work we went. trying to get things the way they needed to be. we were standing there waiting for something to do and one of our ladies takes a step back and trips over a bag and flops into a box of nacho chips! the box split and the chips crunch. we laughed and laughed and laughed. about the time she got off the ground, the camera man was there! oh how funny! she said this is the first time she's fallen and she's been sober, at least she will know where the bruises came from (funny, sad, but true). there were many of these moments. i won't bore you with them all, b/c like i said they are the "had to be there moments."

okay, one more story then that's it. we were told to throw away some of the ketchup, so i dropped a ketchup container (about a 1/2 gal container 1/2 way full) into the trash and turned my back, as i turned my back the ketchup splashed up went all over my back, over my shoulder and into my hair. the ladies thought it was so funny! we just laughed and laughed and laughed. they helped me to get cleaned up some, but it was just way to much! our stomachs were hurting from laughing so much!

the fireworks were pretty good, and this man that was behind us was quite the jokster! he was so funny! oh, i forgot to say that i got stuck in the parking lot and 6 men's center guys had to push me out! but that was the last time i got stuck :)

the best part of the whole thing was we got to take part in making God famous! i believe that many people got to see how the church is suppose to work. i don't think i'll ever forget it! it was such a blast. hope i can help in another 20 years!

to tie you over

2009-07-05T20:39:00.001-05:00

this is just to tie you over until i write a little more about our Charlie's Holiday. it'll be a treat! be ready for a long read too! this is DC*B's new song. new album coming this fall! soooo stoked!

Verse 1:
He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

Pre-Chorus:
And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all

Chorus 1:
Yeah, He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves.

Verse 2:
We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way…

Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
Chorus 2:
He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves.

Verse 3:
Well, I thought about You the day Stephen died,
And You met me between my breaking.
I know that I still love You, God, despite the agony.
...They want to tell me You're cruel,
But if Stephen could sing, he'd say it's not true, cause...

Chorus 3:
Cause He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us.
Whoa! how He loves us.
Whoa! how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves.

porta-potty polka-dotted land

2009-06-29T17:16:00.003-05:00

to look out our windows, especially the ones facing the back side of the house this morning was a sight to see! they have begun to place the porta-potties for Charlie's Holiday! it's great! these are super special porta-potties, they have men porta-potties and women porta-potties! it's great! i'm going to try to post a picture here soon before it looks normal with all the other things set up. here is a run down of Charlie's Holiday:

~the first of the portapotties have arrived, with more to come. (119 to be exact). over 100 trash cans and 50 recycling receptacles are on their way.

~ june 26th the huge entertainment tent will be set up, and the dirt moving crew will be leveling areas of the field for the rodeo.

~ tons of food have been ordered- including 20,000 burgers and hot dogs, 10,000 lbs. of beef and pork, and a semi load of bread, 120 cases of ketchup, 6 tons of french fries, more than 70,000 sodas and bottles of water.

~ commercials are hitting the radio and tv stations.

~ do you know how many acers are required to park 8000 cars? the parking crew is working out the logistics for that. (they figured 80 acers!)

~ Volunteer and event tshirst have been ordered and should arrive this week (to be distributed through work department heads).

~have you ever made kettle corn? we need someone to manage the kettle corn booth on Friday and Saturday.

~have you worked with inflatable games? ours need to be unrolled and cleaned before the big event.

~ do you have experience on a fryer? several time slots need to be filled with a french fry maker!

that's just the start of it. to see this put into song by our wonderful worship leader visit www.hlseakpeek.blogspot.com! it's funny!

hope to see ya'll there! i'll be driving a shuttle!

great day

2009-06-23T19:08:00.002-05:00

today was a great day, for 2 reasons. i'll keep you in suspense in just a little longer...... are you on the edge of your seat yet? okay it's over

1) i had my first great hair day with my short hair. i was so excited!

2) i got my laptop figured out. i got my internet back! yeah!

that's that

tech's

2009-06-21T14:06:00.003-05:00

just thought i would say hello and let ya'll know what's going on. i haven't been able to blog a whole lot for 2 reasons.

1) somehow i changed my language to Hindu and couldn't figure out how to fix it! so i couldn't read what i was typing and unless you know Hindu you couldn't read it either!

2)my computer had a virus and i haven't gotten it back to the lovely IT staff to get my wi-fi back on!

now you know why i've been away i'll go on with my story. my computer had been acting weird for a week or so. and wasn't getting any better. so i e-mailed out IT staff to see what they could do. they recommended me troubleshooting it for myself, or i could pay them $7.50 an hour. so i tried finding out what was wrong with it, but to no avail. so the next time i just took it to them. i get an e-mail asking if my computer was still under warranty. i didn't like that very much. but looking into it it was under warranty. so i called a little before church on Wed and the nice man on the other end said i should back up my files, that is i had to back them up on zip drives or something of the sort, because he thought i would have to do a system restore. that didn't sound like very much fun. so i got my techy-ist friend to come and help me. we couldn't even get my computer to back things up! so i called hp and they helped me.

i got on the phone at like 8:45 or so, and the guy was super nice. i found out that he lived in the Philippines and they were 12 hours ahead of us! so anyway, he did all sorts of cool things to help me with my computer and to save my itunes music and some other things such as that. by the time i got off the phone and into bed it was 1:30 a.m. wow! my computer had a bad virus! yuck! so now my computer is back to the original factory settings. but i tell you what, this guy deserves to get the "most patient of the year award"! he never once got frustrated with me. and he didn't feel the need to small talk, (which i was glad!). so all that to say, my computer is fixed, and i now have my language changed back to English on my blog.

i learned a very important lesson. don't let your anti-virus protection run out. it can do very very bad things!

this blog was brought to you today by the word: yeah!

getting excited

2009-06-15T17:25:00.004-05:00

hello all,

i'm getting excited. go ahead and ask me why. okay, since you've asked i'll tell you why. in a week or so i'll get to see my lil' bro. i love him lots, and get to see him 2 times a year, maybe more if there's a death, but i hope there's no death soon. anyway, he always comes up over the 4th of july and hangs out for a bit. this video i'm goint to post was one of my first efforts on this computer. i had lots of fun doing it, so i hope it will load. the song is performed by a band called Bond. happy viewing. cheers!

living in community

2009-06-07T19:44:00.003-05:00

a couple things about me before i start this blog.

1) it's meant for humor, so please don't take me to serious

2) i'm a little dramatic at times, and this is how this true story happened

3)i live in community, like seriously, it's a little community in my house. happens when 20 people live in the same home and they are blood family!

okay, now that's out of the way, a little story about living in community. i love it. it has more pros than cons. pros, many times someone else cleans up after you cook or make a mess or forget to cover your potato salad. but it also has some cons, like someone using cups. yup, that's right. tonight i got a little to excited when i saw someone using one of my tumbler cups. you would think no big deal right? there's 60 others already in the cabinet, use one of those. well, that's what i thought! i saw her getting ready to put ice in my pink tumbler cup and i started to get a little upset. i said "HEY! THAT'S MY..." and i just walked away . she chased me down and said "was that yours? i've never used it before, it was just so pink and pretty!! " all the while having the "i got caught and i've used this cup like 30 times before" look.

a friend and i were walking up the stairs and i said "i have 4 cups in this house, 2 coffee cups, and 2 tumbler cups, you can change my laundry, eat my cookies, use my laundry soap, but just don't use my special cups!" and i followed it by a threat saying "i'm blogging about this and it's going to be called 'living in community'."

and there is my dramatic story about living in community.

the secret word for the day was "is" go back and read this blog and every time you see the secret word, SCREAM REAL LOUD!!!

mini vacation

2009-06-01T20:16:00.003-05:00

i thought i would grace you with my presence :) it's been a little bit since i've actually written, so i thought i would fill you in on my past week. right now it's 82 degrees outside, but 83 inside. yup, the air is broken, at least the one upstairs, they worked on the one downstairs for the better part of the day today, but regardless, it's a wonderful home.

this past friday a friend and i got back from a mini vacation. we went to go see her parents in southern Missouri. it's been a few years since i've been there, even longer since i've been there in the spring. but it was beautiful. i never realized how rocky the soil was! anyway, one of the highlights was to go to silver dollar city. i think the last time i was there was about 18 years ago. maybe even longer. but we had a blast. in fact everything we did was fun there.

where else can you go that you can be called "Darlin" all day long, and feel like maybe they really mean it? anyway, the day we went was a bit cloudy and cool, so that meant the park wasn't really all that busy. which was great. we decided to ride a couple of rides. the first one was fun. it had some loops and was pretty fast. so my friend asked this kid sitting next to her what the other one was like, and he said it was okay. but he liked this one better because it went upside down. so we go to ride the other one, and we didn't know what to expect! it was so fast and took such sharp turns that we thought we were going to come out of the seat. we screamed/laughed the whole time. it was great. totally unexpected!

then we went to the glass blower place. whenever you go to silver dollar city you have to watch them blow glass. it's way to cool to pass up! so there was this young guy, maybe around my age. he'd worked there 2 years and went to school at Anderson in Indiana. (just in case you're interested in learning how to blow glass, you can do it there.) and like all people that are showing off their craft, he wants you to talk to him. so there was this little boy. maybe 4 or 5, cutest red hair sitting on his dad's shoulders, and the demonstrator was trying to get people to talk to him. so this little boy raises his hand and says "excuse me! excuse me! what time do i go to school?" the man said "i don't know what time you go to school, ask me another question." then a few min. pass by and the little boy says "excuse me! excuse me!" and the man was like "did you burp or did you have a question?" the little boy says "i like french fries!" by this time the young man doing the demonstration has an older friend that looks like he would be a glass blower up there with him. the older friend says "if you go about 3 doors down, they can get you some french fries." then a few min. later the same little boy "excuse me! excuse me! can you make fried chicken?" the man says "no, but i can cook you a marshmallow at 2400 degrees, would you like that?" the little boy says yes, and they scorch it and the little boy decides he doesn't want it any more.

the young man was doing a good job, but you could tell that his artwork was in distress, so his mentor came to try to save him, but to no avail. right towards the very end, he drops it. the crowd claps for him, but you can tell he's disappointed.

we left right before it started raining, and had an enjoyable evening. this concludes my blog for the day brought to you by the letters q, t, and the number 2.

Oaxaca video

2009-05-26T08:51:00.005-05:00

here we go again trying to load a video. hope it works. please watch it all, just to make me feel like someone watched it :) it's most of my pics from Oaxaca in November. the song is called God of Justice by Tim Huges, it's on his holding nothing back c.d. the whole album is good. you can find it at itunes.

wonderful song

2009-05-24T21:32:00.003-05:00

we sang this song last Wed, we haven't sung it in forever, and i forgot how much i loved it, even more so than when we sang it last year (or whenever it was) so as soon as i got home from church i googled the lyrics (google is such a wonderful tool!) and found out it's called "No Sacrifice" by Jason Upton. if you like different sounding music, you should try some Upton. he's not traditional. hope you enjoy it as much as i do.

To you I give my life, not just the parts I want to

To you I sacrifice these dreams that I hold on to

Your thoughts are higher than mine

Your words are deeper than mine

Your love is stronger than mine

This is no sacrifice

Here's my life

To you I give the gifts

Your love has given me

How can I hoard the treasures that you've designed for free?

Because

Your thoughts are higher than mine

Your words are deeper than mine

Your love is staronger than mine

This is no sacrifice

Here's my life

To you I give my future

As long as it may last

To you I give my present

To you I give my past

Because

Your thoughts are higher than mine

Your words are deeper than mine

Your love is stronger than mine

Your thoughts are higher than mine

Your words are deeper than mine

Your love is stronger than mine

This is no sacrifice

Here's my life

day at park pt 2

2009-05-21T14:50:00.008-05:00

my day at the park

2009-05-21T14:39:00.013-05:00

sacred pathways

2009-05-19T20:03:00.004-05:00

today was one of those days that you would be able to romanticize away. it was so beautiful!!!! there was so little to do at the house today with all the ladies in different jobs, different day jobs now. it's quiet the adjustment! i just finished a bowl of ice cream which is the perfect snack for an evening like this. however, i didn't get to spend much time outside. blah, blah, blah, enough about that, now for what i want to blog about.

i've been reading this book called "Sacred Pathway" discover your soul's path to God, by Gary Thomas. it's really cool, and good. it talks about different Christan temperaments and what is your best way to commune/serve God. i don't have mine figured out yet. but last night i read this part in the book and i screamed "yes!!!" inside. i'll type it out for you, this is the temperament of Ascetics, which is loving God in solitude and simplicity, here we go:

"When i was involved in street preaching on a college campuses, the soul-wrenching and gut-busting struggles came during the moments in prayer before i actually spoke. once i had wrestled with my fears and my doubts, the act of obedience became almost anticlimactic. even later in life, as i've struggled with God's will, the act of obedience always seems less difficult than the prior decision to be obedient. 'don't you know where God is leading on this?' i was asked once.

'yes, i do,' i said. 'and that's the problem. i'm waiting for my willingness to catch up with God's.'

that's why i identify so much with Christ, alone and in agony as he prayed in Gethsemane. it is the ultimate picture of Christianity, the picture of us struggling spiritually as God aligns our will with His. it's the picture that fuels the ascetic spiritual temperament."

when i read that i thought, wow, someone else knows how i feel. so many times i go through this huge struggle in my head. do i do what i know is right? or do i skim the edges to try to get what i want? by the time i make the right decision, i've argued with myself for 15-20 min! oh the agony! i go back and forth, back and forth, and then when i finally make the decision to do right, i almost yell out the answer forcefully because i'm scared if i wait a moment longer, then i will change my mind, so i have to say it fast and loud. people look at me like i'm crazy, but what i'm the most concerned about is not what people think about me, but what God thinks about me. even if i look crazy.

reality check

2009-05-17T19:25:00.003-05:00

been a bit since i've written anything, so i'll tell you about a reality check i had this morning, and i'm sure most of you will laugh because it's so silly, but very true.

a friend and i were sitting at the breakfast table, and she told me that she got the c.d. that was playing at a garage sale for a dollar. i asked her what it was, and she told me it was WOW Gospel worship then she added, but it's 1998. i thought "so what's the big deal, it's only a couple years old." and then it dawned on me that it's 2009 now and that CD is 11 years old! and then yet another revelation hit me that in just 3 more days i'll be out of high school for 10 years! there is no way i could have been out of high school for 10 years! i know that i'm 28, but seriously i really don't feel that old!

after i got done processing all of that my just looked at me and smiled and said "welcome to my world!"

why is it that the years fly by, but we never notice that we are getting older until something like this happens or until we look in a mirror and we don't look 18 anymore, or if someone points out our first grey hair (no one has done that to me yet!), but just something to ponder!

small miracle

2009-05-10T21:31:00.002-05:00

just thought i would share this with you. i'm so proud of "my ladies" and all the hard work they did. about 12 people made enough food (including dessert) for 475 people, and 8 ladies got home, showered and ready for church in 30 min, we were 2 min late for the first song! talk about a miracle!

gardening

2009-05-10T14:42:00.002-05:00

Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful mom's. in case your kids never tell you, you are appreciated greatly, even though they may not tell you now, they will when they are 28, and yes, they will be 28 some day :)

so as you know it's that wonderful time of the year where everyone starts planting flowers. this year we did something different, well, actually a lot different. mom showed us a cool catalog that had some different bulbs and plants and other fun stuff. so we got a butterfly/hummingbird garden that is bulbs, and they come back every year. so it was a great deal, we ended up with 40 some plants for $45.00, what a deal, then the ladies put in some money, so i had a total of $108 to spend on flowers.

the plants came in the mail last Saturday, so of course we had to plant them. we were a little skeptical, especially when someone asked me which end was up, i told them to plant them sideways (lol, not really). this week we were out there looking and some of the bulbs were coming up already! we were stoked and relieved, knowing that it was going to come out okay.

then for the next fun project i decided i would like some edging around our little flower garden it's like 12 feet long and maybe 5 feet wide, but thought brick edging would look nice, you know the scallops? so we bought 25 of them thinking that would be plenty. we were like 4 short! ugh, but fortunately someone was going back to Wal Mart, so we were saved. so last night we wanted to finish it, and didn't know how to break some of the bricks to make them fit. i thought, hmmm, we have a hammer and a flat head screw driver, so we should be able to break them that way. well, i tried, didn't get very far and decided that wouldn't work. then one of the ladies came and said "here, this is what we need to do, i'll stand on it with the last scallop hanging off the step and you hit it with the hammer and it should break." we bowed our heads in prayer for a brief moment, then went to work. and guess what? it turned out beautiful! absolutely perfect! we were so excited that we would get to do it again. and now we have enough bricks for the garden. it took so much work to do it, so many trips out to the road to make sure they were even, and we got tired of digging, so i started stepping on them to make them go down instead of digging and it worked! we decided that we would have a side job for landscaping!

had all the ladies pitch in to help mulch around where all the bulbs were and it looks wonderful. now we just have to wait for the bulbs to grow! it's gonna be beautiful!

to involved?

2009-05-08T08:03:00.002-05:00

so, in case you don't know, i like American Idol, a whole bunch. i've had to back away from it at times b/c i would let it consume to much of my time! trying to figure out a way to watch it thinking about who would win ect. yeah, so i quit watching it for a few weeks. but when it got down to the last 7 i started watching again.

i'd missed the past week or 2, so i was excited to go to my friends house to use her treadmill and to be able to watch it. it makes time go so much faster when you're watching something you like. anyway, it was down to the last 4. 1 girl and 3 boys. i tend to like male voices better than female voices, but the girl was good! one person had to go home. i hoped it wasn't one of the two that i was going for! so i'm watching with great anticipation, and as they kept annoucning those that were still on the show and both of the guys i was routing for were "safe", i almost jumped up and down on the treadmill.

that's when i had the thought, maybe i'm a little to involved.

soooo excited!

2009-05-04T08:16:00.002-05:00

hey guys! i'm super excited, i just check itunes for findingbethel music, and they have a new mini album on there with the song surrender on it!!! yeah!!! everyone go and buy it! 3 songs for $2.46 (or something to that effect) or you can google it and click on their myspace page and it has all 3 songs on there. and it's free! in case you're wondering, findingbethel is our home church band of 3 guys who love God and lead us in worship. they are all home written songs! enjoy!

loved

2009-05-03T20:53:00.004-05:00

let's try this again, i was almost done, and some how i deleted it.

tonight at church it was really good. our Pastor had back surgery on Thursday so was unable to preach tonight, so we opted for something a little different. Testimonies, it's always great to hear people's testimonies especially in our church. our church has 4 recovery programs, men's, women's, youth boys, and youth girls. we see God work in such amazing ways every single day, so the Men of the House were encouraged to get up and say a word, which was nice, normally the ladies take over the stage! lol...

anyway, it seemed that something kept coming up today and it was Psalms 139. this Psalm has very special meaning to me. a lot of the time i tend to doubt God's love for me. as Ms. Audrey would say, i think that God got me out of the nickle bin at Dollar General. so i think that God just tolerates me, not really love me. but reading this Psalm, making it personal helps a lot. while i was in Oaxaca a lady saw this in me. i don't remember her name, or if she even gave me her name, but she knew that i had a hard time with this. one night after a service in Oaxaca she came and told me "you are special, God loves you very very much and so do i. i want you to read Psalms 139 and later we will talk about it." i went to the hotel room and read it, however time did not allow us to get together so she could tell me all the things she wanted to tell me, but the memory lives on in my heart. i'm going to type out this Psalm, and i know that many of us could quote parts of it, and it so familiar, but i would like for you to read it slow, maybe out loud, and put yourself in it. make it personal. think that all the "me's" and "i's" are really talking about you, think that God had David write this just so you would know that you are loved. and after reading Psalms 139, there are lyrics to a Rich Mullins song called "nothing is beyond You." if you have never had the privilege of hearing Rich Mullins i'll tell you just a couple of quick things. he wrote the song "our God is an awesome God", he played the hammered dulcimer, he had a passion for life, and for Jesus and it shows through his music, he died in a Jeep accident in 1997, i cried that day, anyway, you should either 1) buy one of his c.d's or 2) download some of his music from itunes, it's really amazing. so without any further adue, here is Psalms 139 out of the HCSB:

Lord, You have searched me and known me.

You know when i sit and when i stand up;

You understand my thoughts from far away.

You observe my travels and my rest;

You are aware of all my ways.

before a word is on my tongue,

You know all about it, Lord.

You have encircled me;

You have placed Your hand on me.

this extraordinary knowledge is beyond me.

it is lofty; i am unable to reach it.

where can i go to escape Your Spirit?

Where can i flee from Your presence?

if i go up to heaven, You are there;

if i make my bed in Sheol, You are there.

if i live at the eastern horizon

or settle at the western limits,

even there Your hand will lead me;

Your right hand will hold on to me.

if i say "surely the darkness will hide me,

and the light around me will become night"-

even the darkness is not dark to You.

the night shines like the day;

darkness and light are alike to You.

for it was You who created my inward parts;

You knit me together in my mother's womb.

i will praise You,

because i have been remarkably and wonderfully made.

Your works are wonderful,

and i know this very well.

my bones were not hidden from You

when i was made in secret,

when i was formed in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes saw me when i was formless;

all my days were written in Your book and planned

before a single one of them began.

God, how difficult Your thoughts are

for me to comprehend;

how vat their sum is!

if i counted them,

they would outnumber the grains of sand;

when i wake up, i am still with You.

God, if only You would kill the wicked-

you bloodthirsty men, stay away from me-

who invoke You deceitfully.

Your enemies swear by You falsely.

Lord, don't i hate those who hate you,

and detest those who rebel against You?

i consider them my enemies.

search me, God, and know my heart;

test me and know my concerns.

see if there is any offensive way in me;

lead me in the everlasting way.

now for the lyrics:

Where could I go, where could I run
Even if I found the strength to fly
And if I rose on the wings of the dawn
And crashed through the corner of the sky
If I sailed past the edge of the sea
Even if I made my bed in Hell
Still there You would find me
'Cause nothing is beyond You
You stand beyond the reach
Of our vain imaginations
Our misguided piety
The heavens stretch to hold You
And deep cries out to deep
Singing that nothing is beyond You
Nothing is beyond You
Time cannot contain You
You fill eternity
Sin can never stain You
Death has lost its sting
And I cannot explain the way You came to love me
Except to say that nothing is beyond You
Nothing is beyond You
If I should shrink back from the light
So I can sink into the dark
If I take cover and I close my eyes
Even then You would see my heart
And You'd cut through all my pain and rage
The darkness is not dark to You
And night's as bright as day
Nothing is beyond You
You stand beyond the reach
Of our vain imaginations
Our misguided piety
The heavens stretch to hold You
And deep cries out to deep
Singing that nothing is beyond You
Nothing is beyond You
And time cannot contain You
You fill eternity
Sin can never stain You
And death has lost its sting
And I cannot explain the way You came to love me
Except to say that nothing is beyond You
Nothing is beyond You
Nothing is beyond You

now that it's all said and done, i'm glad i lost the first one, this one came out better! :)

ahh, memories

2009-05-01T22:01:00.004-05:00

someone once told me that it takes a lifetime to make memories, i believe mom and i made at least 3 if not more yesterday. i know that it is a day that will go down in history for both of us. but we lived....see the story below!!!

*begin dramatic theme music*

it was finally a bright and sunshiny thursday, with a slight breeze. i get to mom's and i hear the garage beckoning for us to come and clean it! so we obeyed the voice that we heard.

at first it wasn't so bad, just sorta "get in there and get it done" sorta deal. a little scary not know what we would find in there after 8 years, but ya know, not to bad. mom and i are tearing up stuff, throwing tons (literally it felt like tons) of stuff away. bags full, shovels full, a team lift full, but we were getting it done.

one of my big things that i wanted to find was my clarinet from high school. i even remembered what it was in and everything, so i thought no problem finding right? wrong! i didn't count on the container to be broken down into a million pieces, but mom spotted it. good eye mom! so i go and i'm really excited about it, but there is all this stuff on top of it, and well, i was a little nervous about moving everything with my hand so i got a pvc pipe and was moving all the debris off. and i saw this big ugly creepy bug with like a bazillion legs (okay, maybe i'm exaggerating just a little) anyway, it was creepy and i screamed and ran out of the garage. mom thought i was just so excited to see my clarinet that i screamed, but after she saw me running she thought maybe there was something more to it, so i told her about the big ugly creepy bug. i asked if she would be the most wonderful mom in the world and clean it off for me so i could see inside, and she did. and she is the most wonderful mom in the world. anyway, i was a little wigged out so she opened the case for me. the clarinet was in sad shape, i hope we can get it fixed.

so we get past that little escapade and about an hour or so later we are trying to move some big cabinet thing. one that had drawers in it too. it was big, maybe 7 or 8 foot long, so the first project is to get the counter off. both of us go to pull it off, and a leaf moves and mom freaks out because she thinks it's a mouse, but false alarm. the counter is way to heavy for us to heeve-ho it over the dumpster. by the time we got it most of the way off, it was at an angle and we thought we could break it, wrong by a long shot. so i think, "I'm gonna have some fun with this!" so i told mom to stand still so she could be my brace 'cause i was going to karate kick it in 2 right? wrong, i kicked it like 5 times and never even broke it.

so here we are at a stand still trying to figure out what to do, i'm determined to get this in the dumpster so it would look like we did something! mom says something about a sledge hammer! alright! deconstruction! i like that. mom goes to pick up the hammer and the handle it rotted off, so it's just the sledge part. i thought okay, i can work with that, so i throw the sledge at the counter top like 10 times to finally break it (it must of been very well built!) anyway, we finally get the counter top broken down and in the dumpster.

and we finally have a chance to look, and in the first drawer, there is this nest lookin' thing, and boy is it big! so we talk about it and mom says "I hope it's not a rat" and it's time for another break. so mom is sitting for a few min. and i'm taking out the drawers b/c the whole thing would be to heavy for us to carry, so i take out 2 drawers, i leave the one with the nest in it until last so i could muster up the courage to move it. and i get to the second to last drawer. man, it was hard to get unstuck. it was so warped that i had to brace myself against something to get the drawer out.

finally it comes out, and i see this big pink pointy nose with whiskers wiggling at me!!!!!

i totally freaked out! i was screaming and running, and i guess i scream real loud and run real fast when i'm scared. mom was in hot pursuit right behind me, and she didn't even know what it was at the time!!!! i'm out in the road still screaming and shaking and trying to catch my breath and mom finally asked me what it was, and i told her a rat! i said "i'm done, i'm done, i'm done, i'm done!" that was all i could say!!!! and when i finally quit screaming i was laughing! and yet panting for breath.

we then stood in the road and talked about how stupid that thing was because it just sat there. with all the noise we'd been making and me throwing a sludge about 4 feet away from where it was, it never moved, never came out or anything, just wiggled it's long whiskers and bright pink nose at me. did i mention this thing looked as big as a large house cat? anyway, i was freaked out.

once we got into the house, mom and i were laughing about it, and i could only say that i was glad it was me and not mom. she would of passed out on the floor. mom told me she wouldn't have passed out, but we would of been selling the house because she would of had a heart attack! anyway, we were laughing about it then. mom said if it would of came out after us, we would have been running to Keokuk!

i was on my way home and mom called me and said that she'd talked to her sister and her sister thought it was a possum because of how big it was and the fact that it didn't move. rats would have come running out after us or something. once i found out it was a possum and not a rat, i was able to calm down so much better. i didn't even dream about it!

so there are more memories in the making. hope you enjoyed!

ode to Jode

2009-04-27T05:28:00.003-05:00

this is my friend Jody. today is her birthday. i won't tell you how old she is though, because i like being her friend.
i'm not very good at poetry, so i won't try to write a poem, but i will tell you why she's my friend:

1) everywhere we go we have a good time, yes, even to a funeral!

2) she's a riot, and you never know what she's going to say!

3) it's fun to tease her about bacon. she hates it, but i always invite her over when we have it just to hear her politely say "no thank you".

4) she's only serious when needed, otherwise she loves to laugh.

5) she's got a crazy family, crazy as in fun though-not mad. so it doesn't make mine look near as bad.

6) she lets me be me.

7) she looks sophisticated, but isn't. don't tell everybody though.

8) we can walk around the c-store looking at things and eat ice cream, and then pay for it, and she thinks its fun!

9) she likes apples

10) she loves God.

i wish that all of you could get to know my friend Jody, but she's great, just take my word for it!

poem

2009-04-24T20:51:00.003-05:00

yesterday i went to my moms to help her clean out some things, we didn't do what we had planed on doing, but ended up cleaning out something else. and in that mess that was mine, i found some poem books. i like to write down and keep copies of things that other people have wrote, just because it holds a special memory or something to that effect, or it just spoke something significant to me. the poem i'm going to post is one that i've held on since 1999 or 2000 (that was just yesterday right?) anyway, i was a part of a social network called collegeclub and you signed up for all these things that you want to get in on, whether it's about a fav movie, or music, or poetry, and on and on and on, like i said this was the first big social networking thing that i knew about, anyway, there was this post by this person who i only know as libteconilgst or something to that effect, and i've carried this poem with me many many places, and here it is, making an appearance on the world wide web, with the whole 4 people that read my blog, anyway, i hope you enjoy this poem as much as i did.

hey God

hey God what's been up with You lately?

and You ask about me?

i've been okay,

i'm sorry that i haven't found time to pray.

i was hiding between my books and it flew away on a daydream,

about the guy down the hall.

the truth, the hard facts

well... i don't mean to dis You

but...

other things are more important

than You.

at least right now.

at least until i cry.

i'm just being real God

i mean

i love You

yeah, just like the player loves his...girl

sure i love you.

but You know You aren't the only

god in my life.

money, clothes, school, guys,

friends, parties, sleep...i really love sleep

they are gods too.

they make me.

why should You get priority?

oh, just because You made me?

Just because You sent Your Son and He died for me?

hmmmm....

and You protect me

You love me

You're always there

even though

even though i treat You like

this?

well my clothes protect me

and my friends make life fun,

but i guess You have a point here,

You don't come first

and i know what You want

all or nothing eh?

all of me or none?

okay, i've decided

wait

can we make a deal?

how about i give You

80 percent

and i keep 20?

all or nothing?

but i'm not perfect

all or nothing?

You know, i give up

i can't take this

it's nothing

You hear that?

i can't do this anymore

it's nothing

no more lies.

see, because i love You like a player

loves his...girl

and i don't want to hurt You

anymore

it's nothing, i promise God, no more

it's better if i just give up

than if i stand in the middle.

wait God wait!

where are You going? come back in

i just died to my flesh

the answer was nothing

i choose nothing

i give You everything

Satan gets nothing.

You thought i would choose him over You?

well, i see why You would

i have been. but no more winner takes all

and in the fight of good verses evil, You must win.

Psalms 1

2009-04-21T22:25:00.003-05:00

how happy is the man who does not follow the advice of the wicked, or take the paths of sinners, or join a group of mockers! instead, his delight is in the Lord's instruction, and he meditated on it day and night. he is like a tree planted beside streams of water that bears its fruit in season and who's leaf does not wither. whatever he does prospers. the wicked are not like this; instead, they are life chaff that the wind blows away. therefore the wicked will not survive the judgment, and sinners will not be in the community of the righteous. for the Lord watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked leads to ruin.

quote

2009-04-21T13:36:00.002-05:00

when God is abandoned; truth is abandoned; and when truth is abandoned, the basis for moral law is abandoned.

Determination

2009-04-18T10:16:00.004-05:00

Yesterday i had the wonderful privilege to watch 2 beautiful girls while their mother was at a doctors appointment. it wasn't for very long, maybe 5-10 min, but the fun stuff happened while i was in the waiting room with them and their mother. the littlest girl is 3 years old, and have a very big, strong personality! she's a riot! anyway, she's standing in front of me doing what this little girl in the picture is doinglike any good friend, i swiped away her hand, she didn't quite get her finger in her nose, but boy was she headed there rather quickly! but she went at it again, and again, finally i told her to stop it! she just looked at me and said "NO! I HAVE A BUGGER!" her mom heard this and rushed to the receptionist for a tissue.

now, this little girl was determined to get what she wanted! she wanted that bugger out! (now bear with me, i'm going somewhere with this) and she would stop at nothing. however, she was not about to ask for help.

i looked at her and i thought, i'm sure there's a lesson in this somewhere! i just know there is! it's to funny not to get a lesson out of it. so the lesson i came up with is, that's how we need to be in our walk with God. Relentless! not backing down, not giving up until the obstacle is out of our way. but so many times, we ask God to do all the work and leave none of the work for us, or the other way around, we try to do all the work and it's God who needs to do it. i think it varies on the situation. but the question is, are was as determined as this little girl was to get obstacles out of our way? or are we going to let it continue to hinder us?

hands

2009-04-16T20:46:00.004-05:00

it's been a bit since i've posted anything. i've thought about a few things, but then i just got to tired to post them, and now they don't seem that blog worthy anymore. but as i did some research last night, this was laid on my heart.

a few days ago i received some mail from world vision. it's a group that helps children world wide, children that are poverty stricken and don't really have a hope. i have one child that i sponsor from Ecuador and it's been on my heart to sponsor another child i really wanted to sponsor one from South Africa. and there she was. she's from Swaziland.

i have a very strong desire to go to South Africa, and the same strong desire to adopt children from there. i've shared that with a couple of my friends, and they told me i would have to learn how to grease hair, braid, and maybe even get botox so my kids will feel like i'm really their mom. (it's just fun to talk about). hopefully the man that i will marry will have the same vision that i have!

anyway, i was interested in Swaziland, and my heart broke. they are so stricken with AIDS and HIV that they are predicting by the year 2028, the population of Swaziland will be 0. AIDS will have wiped out an entire country.

World Vision is stepping in and hoping and praying that people will sponsor the children to give them a hope. they are called "hope children", they have special needs seeing how they are surrounded with death and severe illness. the cost is $35.00, but i believe it is well worth it, just to give these kids hope. to let them know that there is a God and they are loved. Swaziland has had a lot of kidnappings and rapes too. these children are precious! it breaks my heart. on the positive note, they do speak English in Swaziland, so if i were ever to go, the language barrier won't be there, or at least not as strong.

if you are interested in sponsoring a child you can go to worldvision.com, you can pick the gender, age, country, any special needs or birthdays and you can help paint a better world for these children and give them a chance to come to know Jesus Christ as their Lord and Saviour.

below are lyrics from a secular song by Jewel. but i couldn't pass up posting them. they are so true.

"Hands"

If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be that we're all OK
And not to worry 'cause worry is wasteful
And useless in times like these
I won't be made useless
I won't be idle with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
For light does the darkness most fear
My hands are small, I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
Poverty stole your golden shoes
It didn't steal your laughter
And heartache came to visit me
But I knew it wasn't ever after
We'll fight, not out of spite
For someone must stand up for what's right
'Cause where there's a man who has no voice
There ours shall go singing
My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
I am never broken
In the end only kindness matters
In the end only kindness matters
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
We are never broken
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's mind
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's heart
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's eyes
We are God's hands
We are God's hands

PATIENCE

2009-04-03T07:29:00.002-05:00

HAVE PATIENCE
HAVE PATIENCE
DON'T BE IN SUCH A HURRY
'CAUSE WHEN YOU'RE IMPATIENT
YOU ONLY START TO WORRY
REMEMBER
REMEMBER
THAT GOD HAS PATIENCE TOO
SO THINK OF ALL THE OTHER TIMES
WHEN OTHERS HAVE WAITED ON YOU!!

surrender

2009-03-30T20:13:00.003-05:00

I think that God has been talking to me about surrender. it's a tough subject, and sometimes i would like to think that it's not His voice i hear, but my own. but deep in my heart i know it's His. i've been praying that i hear His voice, but i want to put in a clause, and say, but only about the things i want to hear about God. You let me pick the topic, and then You can tell me only what i want to hear. just in case you've been wondering about the "true" definition of the word surrender there it is from a dictionary:

a: to yield to the power, control, or possession of another upon compulsion or demand <surrendered the fort> b: to give up completely or agree to forgo especially in favor of another2 a: to give (oneself) up into the power of another especially as a prisoner b: to give (oneself) over to something (as an influence)intransitive verb: to give oneself up into the power of another : yield
ouch, that one hurt. i think about titles of books, like "The Glad Surrender" and "Total Surrender" oh, and that wonderful song "I Surrender All" i think i'll type out the lyrics to that song. if we've ever gone to church i'm sure we've sung the song. and it's pretty sounding. our worship leader (Dan White) has recently written a song about surrender. it's a great song, and all of us are waiting for it to be put on a c.d. so we can sing along with it whenever we want. however, do we mean what we are singing? here are the lyrics and all four verses to the song. in the italics i'll add some questions that God was asking me when i had my hands raised and singing this song yesterday.
all to Jesus i surrender, all to Him i freely give;do you really surrender ALL to Jesus? do you freely give everything or just the parts that you want? just the thoughts you want to feed?
i will ever love and trust Him, in His presence daily live.if you love and trust Him, then why do you pick the things back up that you surrender? are you doubting His goodness? are you cultivating His presence in your daily life?
all to Jesus i surrender, humbly at His feet i bow,humbly? i bow? that means submission to Him!!! do i submit my thoughts daily to Him? do i surrender my entire life to Him????
worldly pleasures all forsaken, take me , Jesus, take me now.do i really forsake all worldly pleasures? or do i pick and choose the ones that i think i can hold onto without being hurt through it? take me, Jesus, take me now? does that mean right this second, because there are things in my life that i want to do, you can't mean right now could you?

all to Jesus i surrender, make me, Saviour, wholly Thine;now we are talking more of a prayer here, i can handle this... i want to be wholly Thine Jesus, with nothing else in the mix, just You. can You make me wholly Thine?
may Thy Holy Spirit fill me, may i know Thy pow'r Divine.oh Holy Spirit, i ask that You fill me once again. i pray that i know You're power divine.
all to Jesus i surrender, Lord, i give myself to Thee;okay God, here's the leap. i don't know where i'm going, i don't know what i'm doing, but i'm giving myself to Thee. i'm to the point of total surrender. i can't do this on my own anymore, i must have You! You take control. i'm wholly Yours now!
fill me with Thy love and power, let Thy blessing fall on me.God, Your love and power are the blessings. i cannot be blessed without surrender. total surrender. i surrender all!!!!!!!
ahhh, the glad surrender. to know that I am not my own, but that i have been bought with a price, and that price is the precious blood of Jesus Christ. who am i to control my own destiny? God, i surrender all to You.

change

2009-03-27T20:41:00.003-05:00

i haven't been real faithful at blogging lately. i do love it though. it let's me air out my thoughts to a different audience than normal, and it's way better than writing an e-mail, if you don't have a blogspot, you should really get one, it's great, and you can always look back and see what kind of crazy things you said 3 months ago. anyway,

things have been real busy. there are lots of changes going on, and i know that God has been preparing me for some of them. one of the biggest changes that i know of is that the ladies are going to be home a whole lot more after Easter. right now, only on Mon, Tues, and Wed evenings and Sat mornings are all of them (or at least 95%) are here at the same time, but there are big changes going on here at Heartland, like always. i think the worst thing about change is the awkward transition time, you know where you're trying to get your barrings all over again. i know some of the ladies will have a hard time with that, but they must learn, as we all do, that not everything goes the way we want it to.

there isn't really much else going on except crazy weather, so I'll quit rambling and get off here and hit "publish post" so the Internet world can see what i have to say!

a thought

2009-03-23T18:50:00.002-05:00

SOME PEOPLE ASPIRE TO BE GREAT, AND SOME PEOPLE ASPIRE TO GREATNESS.

bye bye what???

2009-03-21T16:04:00.003-05:00

hello all. just thought i would update you on the past few days. i took some time off and went to go see my mom. we had made various plans, but in the end we went to the high school musical Bye Bye Birdie!!!! it was the same one i was in 11 years ago. whew!!!! 11 years. seems like a lifetime ago, but it wasn't. i was excited to go back to where i graduated from. and i was way excited to see the first musical that i was in again.

it was so funny because i was so animate about mom hurrying up and getting the tickets because i was concerned about them being sold out. a little later, i had to laugh because i realized it was Warsaw and somewhere like Quincy where they could actually sell out of tickets. anyway, mom and i had a good laugh about it.

we got there and walked in the door and it was very surreal. i was like wow!!!! i felt like i was 70 years old! i couldn't believe it. i walked in and everything was so real, but so unrealistic at the same time. we walked into the auditorium and they had an orchestra pit! we never had one of those! and Miss Johnson was there, and it was her last musical, i couldn't believe it!!! she was retiring after 36 years, and 12 of those years she was my teacher! i'm sure this doesn't make a whole lot of sense, unless of course you have been there yourself, but it was so weird. they repainted the auditorium, and got new carpet and new seats. i don't think that the people built that for adults, there were like 5 inches for leg room. anyway, they did such a good job, and brought back many fond memories of high school.

my encouragement to you would be, support your local high school fine arts, it's a great way for kids to get out of their boxes, second of all, if you hear of a play that you were in when you were younger, go support those hard working actors. and lastly, go back to your old high school and see what kind of changes have been made. you will feel like you were doing the time-warp again.

we love you Conrad, oh yes we do....

Misc thoughts

2009-03-15T15:09:00.003-05:00

so I've been thinking these last few days about what to blog about. there have been so many things going through my head. you know, like lessons from the Chronicles of Narnia (i do still plan on doing it some other time though), and just random thoughts and stories of things that happen around the house, but I've decided to write on the other night at the ER.

i had to take a lady to the ER on Thursday night, don't worry, she's fine, and we walk in and there are a couple of people there. not anyone looking like a real emergency (ours included) but there was this guy there. he was kinda rough looking, bandannas on his head (i knew i was going to be making this trip so i had time to take mine off and wash my hair because "i would never go out in public looking like that"). anyway, he had on semi-tight jeans and a skull and crossbones t-shirt and a short jean jacket over the top and his hair was 2 different colors. he just didn't look like someone that was a very nice person. so as I'm sitting there assessing the situation, i hear the Holy Spirit say "you're so judgemental" so i quickly repent but then the next thing i do, I'm back judging again. mind you i had a book in my hand about love, how fitting. anyway, i just get frustrated with myself. we are there for about 15 min and this older lady comes in and she's breathing real short breaths, like after every word she's gasping for air. an ER attendant gets her a wheelchair and sets her down. and she looks at the stuff about 3 feet away from her on the floor. she lets out a sigh "oh my things." any one of us could have gotten up to get them for her, but this "unruly guy" offers to get them for her. he had a genuine concern in his voice for her and making sure she got her things. as he hands them to her he says "ma'am everything is going to be alright, i promise." he was such a reassuring stranger, and had such a care and afterward he looked as if he bowed his head and said a prayer. the lady was wheeled back into the ER with a smile on her face. it blessed me to be able to sit and watch this happen. and once again i hear "Adrienne, you are to critical of others, not just this young man, but so many other people. when are you going to stop judging them by what people look like?" I'm an observer, and as i continued to watch this young man, you could tell that he was very concerned for whoever he was in the ER with. later on that evening as we were waiting for our discharge papers, i saw him pacing quietly in front of a door. i don't know what was going on, but i sent up a quick prayer for him and his companion. as i sat there smug with my Christian book on love, this young man acted out what the book was talking about. when will i stop reading long enough to act?

a funny joke

2009-03-11T17:31:00.002-05:00

okay, so it's a blonde joke, and i'm normally opposed to blonde jokes, but this one was to funny to pass up.

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons,
nor prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted, and the horse immediately
springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the
blonde begins to slide from the
saddle.

In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm
grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides
down the horse's side anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious
to its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the
horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled
in the stirrup. She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding
hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over.

As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from
unconsciousness when to her great fortune.....

Frank, the Walmart greeter,
sees her dilemma and unplugs the horse.

And you thought all they did was say Hello.

around the world

2009-03-05T08:17:00.003-06:00

well, it's 8:18 a.m. and it's already 53 degrees! thank you Jesus! there is so much to blog about these past few days, i'm not going to go into every little detail (or at least try not to), but i want to share with you some things about the wonderful missions conference that we just had. it ended last night. it was bitter-sweet, bitter because i didn't want it to end and for all of our friends to go back to their respective homes, but sweet because we can all go to bed at normal times and not run around like chickens with our heads cut off.

so about our missions conference, we have it every year at the start of March. it's from Sunday morning to Wednesday evening, with meetings in the evenings and sometimes even meetings throughout the day. this year we had 10 countries represented along with 9 states. all together, we had about 50 guests. it was wonderful. we meet some new friends. none that i think i will quickly forget. actually i hope and pray that i will remember them all the days of my life. they lived a life of sacrifice.

the first guy i will share with you about it a man from Moldova. during the Communist years, Christianity was not tolerated, it was persecuted because "religion was a crutch, and it was only for weak people". this man grew up in a Christan home, which meant enduring persecution at an early age. he shared while he was 10 years old he was at school and the teacher would ask questions like "did anyone go to church this weekend?" or they would pick him out an ask him because they knew of his religion. he did not lie, he would always tell the truth, and one time the teacher beat him over the head with a rod because he went to church. this young man grew up loving God, then a time came when he had to make a decision what he was going to do, give up God and join the Party, or continue his relationship with Jesus. as all wise people do, he choose Jesus. as time went on and the persecution continued he knew that somehow he had to get Bibles in the hands of the believers, otherwise they would never grow. to make a long story short, he found some other men willing to live a life of sacrifice and began to run an underground printing press. God has done so many miracles in this man's life, and through this man. it is an intricate story, but as this man spoke i knew he loved God to the highest degree. he has a book called "While Children Slept" and i'm in the process of reading it (Esther, i'm going to bring it to you next time i see you). i have hardly been able to put it down. he has 7 children, and they too learned to live a life of sacrifice, when the children were young they were on a journey to deliver Bibles, and they got pulled over by the KGB , now where they hid the Bibles was they took out the back car seat and made a seat out of Bibles, the 2 children were in the back seat and the mother cleverly decided to have them "play possum" pretending they were asleep, the young man knew he'd be caught, but the KGB officer saw the children sleeping and decided not to search the car. this is one of many instances of miracles in his life. however, there were so many people involved and they took EXTREME persuasions. things that we would never think about today. last night as all of our guests stood on the platform to pray for us, we returned the favor and prayed for them. and i couldn't take my eyes off of this man who is now somewhere in his mid to late 60's. i had laid eyes on someone who risked his life and his families life for the Kingdom of God. he not only did it in the face of persecution, but also, did it breaking the law. during the meeting he said so many things happened, and that he would tell us some stories, and there were other stories in the book, but there were some stories that he would never tell because he would much rather receive God's reward in heaven than men's applause. i believe he really got touched over these few days.

now for the next man, his name is David Davis, he is from New York City and was in Broadway plays and the whole bit (seeing him i had no trouble visioning this), him and his wife moved to Israel. they have a church on Mount Carmel, and they also opened a rehab for Jewish and Arab men, together. they are having quite a bit of success. people all over the world are amazed how this works. there have even been Jewish men that have fallen in love with Arab women and have been married, and vice versa. it's really incredible, i think it touched me so much because that's what we do here at Heartland.

the next man i want to talk about it quiet remarkable. he's 87 years old and is a Holocaust survivor. we went to the meeting yesterday to hear his story, and wow, what a story. he has a very thick German accent, and was quiet comical, but very real. he told the story how he and his family got kicked out of several countries because they were Jewish. he told the stories about how no one knew him and his family was Jewish in Poland, but the school teacher began to ask questions because they wanted to take a survey of their students, like "who is catholic?" "who is prodastant?" and the big question "who is Jewish?" he was the only Jew in his class. from there on he was treated differently. when things first started to get real rough, the Jewish people could not go to the market until 10:00. the farmers all brought their produce very early in the morning and by 10:00 99% of their wares were sold, and what little was left, cost a high price. i believe he was rushed in his speaking and skipped around a lot so it was hard to make sense of a lot of what he was saying. anyway, he said that he went to concentration camps, and one camp he was caught for doing something so they made him eat human waste, another time he switched numbers with another man so he could be with his son and Max could be with his father. he almost got caught, but the guard showed him some mercy for some reason. also, he talked about "the showers" where his brother died. he talked about how for 3 months his dad saved his life. his father worked in the kitchen and towards the end of the shift, he would cut a potato in 2 and put 1/2 in each of his sleeves and sneak it to his son. Max said that it was a raw potato, and they crunch really loud, so he had to chew very very slowly so he wouldn't be caught, and that's how he stayed alive in that camp. another story was they got moved to another place and the Jewish people had to build their own ghetto. he said out of all places, it was on a Jewish burial plot. the soldiers made them take down the grave markers, and make a road or something like that out of them. the stories went on and on and on. it was amazing. one of the most remarkable things was he was #2 on Schindler's list. he was one of the 11,000 that Schindler saved. i think i could talk forever about this. it's so very very sad. i did not know this until the evening, but Max IS NOT a Messianic Jew. but what he said from the pulpit, was amazing. he said that he has never seen people this happy. he's never seen kids this beautiful and this full of joy (our elementary lead worship last night, and did a dance). he was so impressed, he's going to go to India with one of our missionaries who is from there. i believe that his eyes have been opened to the goodness of God! i believe he will be saved, and part of it will be because of this conference.

John and Grace were here (they are spiritual parents to Ms. Jan) John is 97, and Grace is 94. they have been in the ministry for 70 years! they were missionaries on the Ivory Coast in Africa for many years and came back to the states to start Shalom ministries. last night they got an award for a life of excellence or something like that.

well, i guess i'm done rambling about this now, it was just wonderful, and i wanted to share it with you.

real blog

2009-03-01T13:40:00.003-06:00

well, it's been a bit since i really wrote anything. not that is saying much, but anyway, thought i would update you on some things.

for starters, it's March 1st, 2009. that's hard to believe! and spring and Easter and the dreaded time change is just around the corner, lovely isn't it?

today was the first day of the missions conference. it was wonderful to see all of our far-off-in-a-distance-friends up close and personal. the oldest person we have there is 97, and the youngest, 19. it's really amazing. Pastor was on it this morning, we have some people that are from Moldova so they speak Russian (I believe) i bet some of that stuff translated really funny! and then i got to see some of my new friends from Oaxaca. how wonderful! this is going to be better than Christmas, yes, even better than getting my laptop if you can believe it.

tonight, the ladies and even us staff are going to be on the worship team. that is going to be an unforgettable event!!!!!!! it's been a little while since we've done that. at least we don't have to lead. anyway, a lot of the ladies are nervous about it, but it will be fine.

i guess not much else to say. it's been busy, but not much blog-worthy!!!!

hello

2009-02-24T18:52:00.003-06:00

just incase you forgot, the Fonz sends his greetings!!!!!!! smile, you're loved!

GOD IS SOOOOOOOOOO COOL!!!!!!

2009-02-20T19:54:00.004-06:00

this post may be a little lengthy, but so be it. i've been reading this book called "Eternity in Their Hearts" by Don Richardson. it's a bit wordy in some places, but once you get into it, it's really really good. i like it a lot, anyway, this part talks about how the Chinese in their very own writing system tells the Gospel story, and i'd like to share it with you, and so we begin:

early missionaries to China faced a formidable obstacle. they had to learn the Chinese writing system. as Westerners, accustomed to writing with European alphabets of approximately 26 letters, they gasped! Chinese writing, they found, used a system based on 214 symbols called "radicals."

they gasped again when they learned that these 214 radicals-enigmatic enough in themselves-combine to form between 30,000 to 50,000 ideographs.

it was enough to make even the most patient saint gripe! why on earth would the sovereign God permits any people to develop a writing system so "radical"? didn't it matter to God that Chinese writing placed an almost impassable barrier in the way of communicating the gospel to one-quarter of mankind?

one day, however, one of the missionaries stopped complaining. he was studying a particular Chinese ideograph, the one which means "righteous." he noticed that it contained an upper and lower part. the upper part was simply the Chinese symbol for a lamb. Directly under the lamb was a second symbol, the first person pronoun I. Suddenly her discerned an amazingly well-coded message hidden within the ideograph: i under the lam am righteous!

it was nothing less than the heart of the gospel he had crossed the ocean to preach! Chinese were startled when he called their attention to the hidden message. they had never noticed it, but once he pointed it out, they saw it clearly. when he asked, "which Lamb must we be 'under' to be righteous?" they had no answer. with consummate delight he told them of "the Lamb that was slain from the creation of the world" (Rev 13:8), the same "Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world" (John 1:29).

he shared his discovery with fellow missionaries and soon they in turn began uncovering still other spiritual messages encoded within the 4,000 year old ideographs! Chinese language study suddenly became the most exciting adventure they had ever experienced!

another example: the Chinese symbol for a boat embodies a vessel with eight people inside it. eight people? Noah's ark bore exactly eight people to safety.

the radical meaning "man" is a figure shaped like an upside down y. the ideograph meaning tree is a cross with the symbol for man superimposed upon it! and the symbol for come calls for two other smaller symbols for man to stand on either side of the tree with the greater man superimposed upon it. some students of Chinese writing claim that the two smaller human figures collectively mean mankind. if so, the ideograph meaning come seems to carry a code that says: "mankind come to the man on the tree."

for careful study of several other spiritually pregnant Chinese ideographs, i refer readers to C.H. Kang and E. R. Nelson's recent book on the subject, listed in our bibliography. not all researches agree on the exact interpretation of each and every symbol. nevertheless, Chinese people themselves (and many Japanese, for Japan uses virtually the same writing system) have been intrigued by interpretations which missionaries have suggested to them. even when theories are non-conclusive, the mere discussion of them may be sufficient to communicate spiritual truth to unbelievers.

i have found in my research that many Chinese and Japaneses pastors themselves consider the use of these various symbols a valid entree to the minds of their own people.

One missionary, returned from China, told of a Chinese solder who approached him, bristling with hostility. the missionary sketched some of the aforementioned symbols on a pad and pointed out their "hidden" meanings. the soldier's eyes opened wide. "I was told," he exclaimed, "that Christianity was a foreign devil's religion! now you show me that the wiring system of my own country preaches it!"

the book mentioned earlier about the ideographs by Kang and Nelso is called "the discovery of Genesis"

fundamentals

2009-02-16T19:37:00.003-06:00

first of all, i want to let everyone know that my best friend and her husband are going to have a baby. it won't be for a while yet, but we are all so excited for her. she told the ladies tonight and they were all happy for her. some even cried. so it's great news.

now, onto the blogging part. i haven't written much lately, but i'm sure i'll make up for it tonight.

a couple of weeks ago i was at Saturday night prayer and Pastor called all of us around and asked that we would pray for the ministry, and that all that aspire to come here know that they come here to die to themselves, and he reminded us that the Bible says that we are not our own, but we were bought with a price, and the life that i live is no longer mine, but is lived through Christ. just basic Christianity. and i was standing there and i was like "Oh God, how could i forget something as fundamental as that?!?!" that was why i was having a hard time, i thought my life was my own, and it's not!!!!!!!!!!!! how foolish of me. so many things are like that, we forget what 2+2 is b/c we are worried about calculus! it made perfect sense. now i'm not saying it's easy, but i am saying it's simple.

God is so cool. the other night i was reading in the book of John and i saw this verse, and i thought hummmm, i've never seen that before, and when that happens, i always tend to blame it on "I'm reading out of a different translation." but regardless, i saw this verse and it simply says:

REMAIN IN MY LOVE. IF YOU KEEP MY COMMANDS YOU WILL REMAIN IN MY LOVE, JUST AS I HAVE KEPT MY FAHTER'S COMMANDS AND REMAIN IN HIS LOVE.

there it is, a command and how to fulfill the command. if you want to remain in God's love, you just have to keep His commands. am i saying it's easy??? NO!!!! but it is simple. many times we just have to open our eyes to see the answer. so often it's right after the question. try it, it has happened over and over and over for me.

later...

p.s. a piece of useless information, the word own also spells won and now!!!!! 3 words for the same 3 letters....

My first class <3

2009-02-14T16:37:00.003-06:00

this is it!!!!!!!! i've found it, my first class and i'm totally excited about it. my friend Dar and i deliberated on it for about 1/2 hour, take a "nessicary evil" class, or one that would be fun and interesting... Dar is a very logical person, so when she presented the fun class side, i took it, and we found this....

This is a course that contains some of the most vital content of the entire DLP core class

list. It provides the student with an understanding of the major world religions and

worldviews, as well as a strong defense of Christianity.

Regardless of the spiritual caliber of the student, all students have the ability to succeed

in the course – believers in Jesus Christ or a ‘seeker’ will be strengthened by this course,

and non-believer will gain an understanding of the gospel. Students frequently comment

that this was the best class of their college experience to date, and would recommend it

highly.

This is a well-organized course that was designed with the student in mind. All due dates

and schedules allow for students to work at an even pace without large assignments

stacking against each other.

The student has the ability to interact with classmates not only on a scholastic level but

also to seek advice and prayer on a personal level that make a true sense of community in

the course.

COURSE DESCRIPTION

An overview of the major worldviews, including their history and current relations with

other religions and philosophies, their influence, when applicable, on historical forces

(cultural, social, political, and economic), and the effects of worldviews on behavior.

Common critiques to each worldview will be included and analyzed from various schools

such as historicism and existentialism. The issue of absolutes, the existence of God, and

how people view revelation

from God will be emphasized with several worldviews.

RATIONALE

The purpose of this course is to provide academic instruction on the importance of and

ability to communicate God’s truth. In order to accomplish this, one must (1) understand

the essentials of Christian truth, (2) understand the historical opponents to Christianity

and truth, and (3) present a biblical, logical and reasonable defense of Christianity.

Especially in our present culture of pluralistic spiritualism, we must be fully prepared to

present a cohesive answer to those ultimate questions of life, as the Apostle Paul states, to

“know how you should respond to each person” who asks us about such things”

Colossians 4:6 (NASB).

The Contemporary Worldviews course is designed, therefore, to deepen and broaden the

student’s understanding of the core fundamentals of the Christian worldview, and to

equip them to present that view in contrast with other, competing worldviews. The goal is

to enable students to think more clearly and critically about Christianity and truth, so that

they may become more effective witnesses and participate more constructively in the

larger socio-cultural debate. The study of worldview constitutes a window through which

we can view the nature of man and his conduct. Knowledge of worldviews is

commensurate with acquiring a powerful form of wisdom, that characterized the sons of

Issachar, “men who understood the times, with knowledge of what

Israel should do ”1 Chronicles 12:32 (NASB).

something constructive

2009-02-13T18:10:00.003-06:00

well, it's Friday the 13th and the house is totally empty except the 3 staff here. all the ladies are working. what a great oppertunity to be grading some homework, or reading, but here i am, blogging. it's just so much more fun than doing something a little more worth while. maybe after a bit :)

yesterday i went to the eye doctor (a new fav. past time of mine...lol) anyway, all of the sudden she went like super melodramtaic!!!!!!! it was great. it was almost like a gico commercial with the cavemen. anyway, here is the warning i walked away with: so many people think being an eye doctor (i'm not even going to try to attempt to spell it) is all about which looks better one or two, tell me when they line up, which line can you read, tell me when you see my fingers. she even pointed out the fact that she has a blister from it, and sometimes being an eye doctor hurts. i told her my younger brother's new asperation in life is to be an eye doctor. she said "do me a favor and warn him about the blisters, he can get blisters." we were all in an uproar because it was so great!

okay on a side note. i got my college transcripts from Carl Sandburg College yesterday. and boy, i knew i didn't do very good, but i did horrible in college!!! i'm so glad that Liberty took me on and didn't count me as a lost case! my GPA was absolutly horrible. i remember doing not so good, but this was all C's and below!!! oh my goodness, was that an eye opener. they say that when people get saved their intelengece increases by like 70% and i'm in full agreement. but it did not say that all the sudden you can spell!!!

well, now that i've played for a few moments, it's back to the old grind stone...

finally

2009-02-11T21:41:00.003-06:00

so, i got great news today.... i GOT ACCEPTED TO LIBERTY!!!!!!!! i'm so excited. i won't start until the fall though. need to get through the busy season. i even got a credit for a class that i never completed. so that is pretty cool, and i've been on the search for Microsoft Office 2007 and my step-mom has one, so i don't have to pay for it. it's great! sorry this is so short. more later.

triubute

2009-02-09T19:04:00.003-06:00

MISS YOU G-MA

death, taxes and scaring geese

2009-02-05T20:45:00.003-06:00

so, as you can tell, i'm trying a different look for a while. seems to match the theme of the day. got a new hair cut, re arranged my room. change is good. so, this week has actually been quite eventful.

i'll start with the taxes. ahhh, yes, it's that wonderful time of the year where we get those lovely w-2's that tell us how much we made. i'm always excited to get mine so i can see how much i can get back. anyway, i know not everyone is that fortunate. i'm also in charge of doing the ladies taxes, but it's real simple, there's this great super easy web site we go to. well for some reason i couldn't create any new users, and it kept saying this error thing. so i waited and waited and tried again and again to see if it would work. i even had one of my smart friends trying to figure this thing out, but to no avail. so finally out of desperation, i tried the "chat with us now" thing. i thought ok, it can't be that bad.... i was put on hold for an hour and a half with a chat session....ughhhhhh..... i kept getting the same messages that you would get on the phone, except i didn't have the bad music and it was in pretty red typing. so finally someone comes on and asks me to "please hold for one moment while i read your question." so the guy tries to tell me to try again in a little bit. i told him i've been getting the same message for the last 4 days. and finally he gave me another link. i was so happy, the nice guy from turbo tax was my hero for the day. so i learned a lesson about patience, it was great, i think we can always use those, but i don't think we ever look for them.

so i called Liberty today to find out about my application and it turns out i never got mine submitted. so i had to fill out another one, i should know within the next week if i'm accepted or not. one of my old friends (we aren't really friends anymore, just acquaintances) told me to make sure i check with her before i buy any books b/c her and her husband both attend there, so that should make it a little cheaper.

so now for the "Scaring geese" part of my title. it seems that Heartland has become a nesting place for 500 Canadian geese. and they are almost always along the bank of the lake when i'm going somewhere, i like to try to scare them. not to be mean or anything, but just because it's funny. very rarely do i ever scare them. last Sunday when i was taking the ladies to work i tried honking the horn (which never scares them anyway) and the horn wouldn't honk, so i yelled at them. the ladies didn't know what to think of that, but they did think it was pretty funny though.

well, that's a wrap, until next time...

oh so American

2009-01-30T21:19:00.003-06:00

this is more on a serious note than the last couple I've done.

so i started teaching class again. it's on the Sermon on the Mount, and i started it last summer, but i haven't taught since October, so i thought i would just start over b/c most of the ladies have not even been in one of my classes. so we started the journey on the beatitudes last week, well, the introduction. and today we talked about "Blessed are the poor in spirit for they shall inherit the Kingdom of Heaven." we ended up talking quite a bit about Oaxaca and about seeing poor beggars, and we talked about indigenous people groups. the ladies tonight could not fathom not having an economic system, no written language and not being able to read and not having currency and such as that, and not even knowing about it.

so i told them the story about meeting a man from Wycliffe Bible Translators and how it amazes me. it takes 15 years to see any fruit of the work, and the problem that they are having now is that no one wants to learn how to read. they weren't amazed at that part, just at not having a written language. i had to get back to teaching, but we talked more about it after class and trying to figure out how they did it. i still don't know. i told them if it were up to me, i would give them the American alphabet and make it easier on everyone. after i said it i found out once again how Western i am, and how i think everything should be like America. oh, i have so much to learn. anyway, i told them i had no idea what so ever how things like this worked. i told them that i thought that they would try to figure out what language it is closest to and to write it like that. then i told them that it's not about translating words, but ideas. just like you would translate an idea to a 3 year old so they could understand but you would word it differently to someone who is 30. we really got into this conversation. then i told them that they would have no idea who Jesus was, or what He did, or what the cross meant, or who God was. the ladies were floored (i knew reading those missionary books would pay off some day!) i told them that God is so cool that He has these stories, or myths, or something to that effect that helps to translate the story of Christ so that there is a way to relate, but it may take years and years to find out. like i said, i know next to nothing about it, but it does boggle my mind to think about these things.

well, that's it for the deep stuff. i am no allowed to get any financial aid, i think it's b/c i "make to much" and I'm only going to take 1 class, but I'm sure it'll work out. and for those of you that read, but aren't "following" me, you can click on the "follow me button" so i can see who is keeping tabs of me. also, i think it will send you an e-mail when i post something new.

thanks for reading.

cows

2009-01-30T11:37:00.002-06:00

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

college bound

2009-01-27T06:37:00.003-06:00

hello to all of my faithful blog followers. so, how's it goin? just thought i would update you on my life. i'm learning a lot about DFS through my job, and i'm being re-introduced to the whole court scene. but it's for work, i'm not in trouble or nothing. anyway, last night i filled out my application for Liberty University. wow! it's getting real now! i'll start one class in the fall and see how that goes. pray for me! i know it will be good and it will be a challenge. i think it's time for a challenge again.

well, other than that, not much else.

confession of a speeder

2009-01-22T17:33:00.003-06:00

well, i finally have something to blog about. i know it's been a boring couple of weeks. i'm actually really frustrated with myself, but i might as well make light of the situation right? so i was coming home from the eye doctor today and i was truckin right along and i pop over this hill, and i saw a state trooper. i thought maybe he didn't see me speeding, then i looked and decided there was no way that he could not see me speeding, so i slowed down in hopes that he would give me some grace (however i did not slam on my breaks) and sure enough in a few seconds he was behind me with his pretty lights jus a flahin. i started praying when i saw him come over the hill, you know "sinners instinct" oh God, forgive me, i'll never speed again, just don't let me get caught this time, i repent, i'll never do it again, i promise!" my stomach dropped as he approached the car and asked me why i was in such a hurry. i told him i wasn't paying attention, so he went back to his car for what seemed to be eternity and came back with a pretty yellow ticket, and asked me if i would like to see what i was clocked at. i told him no, i knew i was guilty. a lesson well learned. however, since it was my first offense, i don't think i'll get points on my license, inurance may be a different story however. you know that great saying "i'm so broke i can't even pay attention"? well, my new sayinng is i'm so broke i'd better pay attention.

obey the speed limit!

checking in

2009-01-19T18:26:00.003-06:00

just wanted to check in. not much has been going on. talked to a school rep today, so we're getting closer to going back to school.... kinda nervous.... technology is so amazing.....very tired

been a while

2009-01-13T19:20:00.003-06:00

this is a spoken song by Jimmy Needham, the c.d. is called "speak" it has a blues feel to it, but all of his lyrics are amazing it's been on my mind to share this. the title of the "song" is BENEDICTION

no one is good there is not even one

the front pages of papers of children raped by rapists

Iraqi torture chambers and we the blamed claim we're blameless

wrong all

and swelling up inside of us there's this pride in us this arrogance

and our only line of defense is the sense that

I'm not half as bad as this friend of mine so i must be fine

we mean well don't we

yet I've never seen good intentions set a man free from

hurt all

this poor unfortunate soul

filling a single void with toy after toy girl after boy

how boring this wasn't meant to be Humanity's life story

warring with God saying what have you done for me

bought all

hanging out for six hours marred beyond recognition

in complete submission to the Father's will still

a proclamation was made louder than the loudest temptation

with more beauty than all His creation

more eternal than eternity more angelic than the heavenlies

it is done you are bought with blood accept rejoice

for freedom has come

Oaxaca

2009-01-09T14:59:00.002-06:00

here are my pics from Oaxaca if you are interested.

public speaking

2009-01-07T20:31:00.003-06:00

Hello all my fans (Esther and Shawn...) just thought i would share with you what happened tonight. Tina and i got asked to speak at church tonight about our trip to Oaxaca. actually, on Monday we had to go for a video interview thing which turned out to take a long time b/c Tina wanted to say exactly the right thing, so it took like an hour and a half or so. but anyway, we didn't really have much time to talk about what we were going to talk about tonight. i'm more of an imprompto person anyway, to much time to plan gets me all stressed out. anyway, before church we prayed. several people asked me if i was ready, i told them i didn't have much of a choice, i had to be. so we watched the movie that the wonderful camera man put together, and then i spoke. the ladies were giving me a hard time before church b/c i like to talk alot and can ramble on quiet a bit, espically about my experinces in Oaxaca. anyway, it went really really good. and it fit right in with what Tina had said. afterwords, Kathy, a lady who is a wonderful speaker and a published author, told me i was elequent. wow! i took that as a huge complement. anyway, it was fun and not so bad once i got up there. just thought i would let ya'll know how well my "first public speaking engagement" went. did i mention there were about 400 people? i'm going to try to upload a pic or 2 of Oaxaca

me again

2009-01-05T19:23:00.005-06:00

well, i guess it's time i write something. i'm sitting at my "new" desk with a fresh coat of Old English on it. it's great, i love this desk. my dad gave it to me. it's big and roomy, and i suppose when i take my whopping one class at Liberty online, i'm going to need it :) not much has gone on i guess. well, it's been busy, but nothing to note worthy.

Tina and i went and did a video testimonial this afternoon for something on the web. that was interesting. it took a little while. we are going to share in church on Wed. evening, talk about nerve wracking. i thought devotions with the kids were bad....hmmmm.

well, honestly not to much else. saw my mom and my bro today that was nice.

i'm really boring tonight, but i am going to try to post a video or something to see if i'm "techy" enough to figure out the video button on this thing..... here we go

this is a video that i made out of pics that i had of him. it was quiet fun, but very time consuming. soon i will make one of Oaxaca and i'll post it. enjoy watching.

looking forward

2008-12-28T08:07:00.003-06:00

well, it's almost 2009. there have been many ups and downs to good 'ol 08, but i am looking forward to the next year. it's hard to tell what God has in store. better brace ourselves eh??? just thought i would jot down a few thoughts.

tomorrow I'll drive to St. Louis and pick up my "little" brother. I'm excited about seeing him, just hope he's awake to visit some. we are "having" Christmas at dad's on Tuesday and mom's on Wed. then it's back home for me. it'll be good to have a little break.

there are so many things to look forward to next year. i may begin on-line classes at Liberty University majoring in psychology. I'm excited, but nervous. it's been 10 years since I've been a student, but if it's Gods will He will make a way where there seems to be no way.

the ladies are all doing well. holiday seasons are just hard for people in recovery programs, but it's okay. we'll all survive, and hopefully next year will be better for them.

i guess that's about all i have to say.
happy new year!

none

2008-12-25T05:44:00.001-06:00

merry Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!

God of Justice

2008-12-20T10:51:00.003-06:00

this song is a song that really touched me, i just wanted to share the lyrics to it. it's calle God of Justice by Tim Huges:

God of Justice, Saviour to all
Came to rescue the weak and the poor
Chose to serve and not be servedJesus,
You have called us
Freely we've received
Now freely we will give
We must go live to feed the hungry
Stand beside the broken
We must go
Stepping forward keep us from just singing
Move us into action
We must go
To act justly everyday
Loving mercy in everyway
Walking humbly before You God
You have shown us,
what You require
Freely we've received
Now freely we will give
Fill us up and send us out
Fill us up and send us out
Fill us up and send us out Lord

Birthday

2008-12-17T16:23:00.003-06:00

Well, i am another year older, and no i don't feel any different. just another day down. it's so hard to believe that in less than 20 days it will be 2009!!!!!! wow, how time flies....or is that flys???? oh, never mind! anyway, this year has been very trying, but very rewarding at the same time. anything worth while is worth the work huh? just thought i would touch base with all of my fans... I'm sure you'll hear more soon.

tomatoe sauce, heartburn and peanut butter

2008-12-12T17:51:00.003-06:00

Good evening fellow blog readers. thought i would make some light hearted comments this evening.

today i had pizza for lunch, it was a late lunch, but none the less it was lunch and I've been having this insane craving for spaghetti o's. so i ate some at dinner, then came the heartburn, or i should say acid reflux, i said oh, no, not again! so i took some meds, and then the hic-ups! it happened like this the last time i had tomato soup! and the same thing! so i had my traditional spoonful of peanut butter to knock the hic-ups out. they are very loud and embarrassing! but the peanut butter knocks it out every single time. okay, enough about food, and onto another funny (or at least amusing) story.

this past week and a half I've gone to Quincy 6 times! wow, that's a lot, and most of the time i took my own car. which is a standard without power steering, so the other night I'm laying in bed, and my biceps were hurting! i couldn't figure out why, then yesterday while i was driving my car i figured it out! it's from shifting and from turning the steering wheel! then another thing happened the other day, i was driving a company vehicle back from Quincy and i went to push the clutch (it's an automatic), and i stomped on the break! wow! was i shocked when my head jerked forward, I'm so glad no one else was with me otherwise they would have gotten whip-lash, and today i went to put the car in 2nd gear and couldn't get it to shift.... I'm either really tired, or i need to learn to pay attention more to what I'm doing!

tomorrow i get to go see the Nutcracker in Kansas City with a friend and her boyfriend, the ticket was an early birthday present.

sorry this blog had no point, but felt obligated to write something,
until next time...