The Great I Am

this is a great new song that we've been singing for the last few weeks at church, and i have a personal story to go with it... it's been forever since i've blogged, but this is the perfect blog story.

last Sunday morning i was sitting in church across from this man, his wife, and their toddler grandson. this particular man reminds me a lot of my dad. a whole lot, and i was missing my dad. as i watched this man worship God with his grandson in his arms my heart began to ache! oh how i want to give my dad his own grandson to hold. i had never hit this spot before! i started crying and i just couldn't get myself pulled back together. i just cried and cried and cried, it seemed like worship just lasted forever!

we were singing these songs about God being my portion, and He is more than enough for me, and all of those other good things that make worship songs great. but i couldn't sing them. in that moment, i couldn't say that God was enough for me, because i wasn't sure that He was (you know, one of those cross roads things) so i'm praying my way through worship, and crying and crying (which is rather unusual for me), and i'm asking God to purge my heart, because i know that He can be more than enough for me, if i just let Him be.

so i get through church and have a time of prayer and go back for more Sunday night. that's when we sing the Great I Am song. and i was able to say God You are the Great I Am! You can be and are everything that I need as long as i reach out to You. it was just a great moment, and now this song has a specal place in my heart. He is the Great I Am. He can be anything and everything that we need, if we just let Him.

Cheers...

America's Got Talent 2011 - Seatlle Auditions - Zuma Zuma - HD 720p

feel good Friday

Green is the color of spring, and our grass, and the winter wheat. it's beautiful. yesterday was a beautiful Friday. pretty fluffy clouds, could roll with the windows down, and great trip to Quincy, everything was perfect except for the fact someone was leaving the program so i had to take her to the bus station. i had a few other errands to run while i was in town. just the normal pick up stuff for other people, including some shoes. i stopped by Khols because they had the best deal on them. as i was standing there making a selection, this lady came next to me and said how great these shoes were, and i said yeah, they're even on sale right now! that got her all excited, and then she said well, do you have coupon? i told her no, and she graciously offered to allow me to use her coupon (which was great because the girl i was shopping for didn't have much money). so i took some time and helped her make a shoe selection for her daughter, and we went about chatting. and if she said it once she said it a dozen times "this is what America is about, helping out one another". i just smiled and said yes it is, but what i should have said "it's what Jesus is about too" (hind sight is 20/20 eh?). as we were about to leave this other older lady was down the isle, and said "you need to come and look at these!" they were way more cute than the original ones, and they were $4.00 cheaper. so i got all excited went and showed my coupon friend, and she got excited. to the cash register we went, and it was only $46.00!!! they were originally over $100! God really does send us blessings. as i was leaving the store, returning the coupon to my new friend, i assured her that i would return the favor to someone else. she said again "well that's what America is all about!" it felt nice to find a kindered spirit out there... what are you doing to show what Jesus is all about?

finally!!!!

The most wonderful time of the year is here! and no, it's not Christmas...

it's our annual missions conference! Last night we had an Oaxaca night where i got to see some old friends. we have friends here that were missionaries on the Ivory Coast for years, along with Egyptian friends, and people from Eastern Europe, with so many more to come.

when they are here it's like a little piece of heaven. it's like the best family reunion ever, and you're always excited to see people, and there is no one you try to stay away from.

we help give them strenght and they help give us strenght... let the celebration begin...!

Jimmy Needham Benidiction from Not without Love

I tried Lord
I tried Lord
I tried hard to be Your good little boy
Chin up, head high
All zeal and no joy
Thinking all my good deeds could please Jesus
Boy, was I wrong
Though I knew the right songs, all my cymbals and gongs played the melodies wrong
And it wasn’t long ‘til I saw my disease
A life spent wanting to please
On hands and knees
To make right, to appease
God help me please
This can’t be Christianity,it can’t be
The whole thing’s like insanity
Where’s the rest of eternal security?
Where’s the hope of a God big enough to cope with all my hang-ups and insecurities?
Certainly this isn’t breathing
My chest burning and heaving
It’s like my pulse is ceasing
Like my heart quits beating
Yet this I recall to mind and therefore I have hope:
You died, LordYou died, LordAssuredly,
like the coming of the dawn, the Father’s love song goes on
Drowning out my bitter songs
And breaking through walls and barriersChrist swoops in, removes sin, picks up His bride and carries her
So I can sing in agreement with the King this thing:
There’s only one thing that pleases the Father
The God-man on the tree in the midst of the scoffers
Now I finally see that Christ is what Christ offers
And I’m finally free in the love of the Father

All The Poor And Powerless (Cross Point Worship Team)

rekindeled

Missions is burning in my heart again. maybe it's just because it's almost my absolute favorite time of the year (missions conference) or because the team just gave a presentation on Oaxaca and it brought back so many wonderful memories. i'm not sure what it is, but it's there. i love it, i cherrish it. oh to proclaim it from the moutatin tops that Jesus is Lord!!!! here i am Lord send me!!! here is a song that i enjoy a lot, and we have sang it a few times at church, hope you enjoy it as much as i do!

my prayer for the Christians in Egypt

My heart goes out to those in Egypt. We have friends that live there (by "we" i mean our church), and we have members of our church with friends/family there. in looking at the events and updates of Egypt one thing keeps coming to my mind. and it's Psalms 91. when i read it, it's my prayer for them, that God Almighty would cover them under the shadow of His wings. here it is, when you think about it, say a prayer for them. many are running for their lives...

Psalm 91
The Protection of the Most High 1 The one who lives under the protection of the Most High dwells in the shadow of the Almighty. (A)
2 I will say [a] to the LORD, "My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust." (B)
3 He Himself will deliver you from the hunter's net, (C) from the destructive plague.
4 He will cover you with His feathers; you will take refuge under His wings. (D) His faithfulness will be a protective shield. (E)
5 You will not fear the terror of the night, the arrow that flies by day, (F)
6 the plague that stalks in darkness, or the pestilence that ravages at noon. (G)
7 Though a thousand fall at your side and ten thousand at your right hand, the pestilence will not reach you. (H)
8 You will only see it with your eyes and witness the punishment of the wicked. (I)
9 Because you have made the LORD— my refuge, (J) the Most High—your dwelling place, (K)
10 no harm will come to you; no plague will come near your tent. (L)
11 For He will give His angels orders concerning you, to protect you in all your ways. (M)
12 They will support you with their hands so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. (N)
13 You will tread on the lion and the cobra; you will trample the young lion and the serpent. (O)
14 Because he is lovingly devoted to Me, I will deliver him; I will exalt him because he knows My name. (P)
15 When he calls out to Me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble. I will rescue him and give him honor. (Q)
16 I will satisfy him with a long life (R) and show him My salvation. (S)

what????

Can't believe it's been so long since i've been on here, let alone blogged anything. perhaps, i will start once again...

so excited!!!

One of the most exciting events happened to me yesterday! i received a letter from Elisabeth Elliot Gren!!!! Oh my goodness! a little over a week ago i finally decided to write her a letter. you know she's getting up there in age, and a couple of years ago i tried to write a letter to her, but like so many other times i just chickened out on sending it, but this time i did it. and i got a response!!!! it was just a short one page letter typed out (i went through this thing in my head about if i was going to type out my letter to her, or if i would do old school hand writing, old school won, i wanted it to have more of a personal feel to it!) and the top part was kind of a news letter, and the bottom was a letter written to me!!!

each topic of my letter was addressed in a very simple matter and was very warm too. wishing the best for my hopes and dreams, you know, things like that. she even gave me a book referral, which i will purchase just because it was a personal recommendation from one of my heroes, and two other poems in closed. one was by an anonymous author and the other one was just sweet. so i've posted both of them below. i hope you enjoy them as much as i do/did.

Child of My love, fear not the unknown marrow,
Dread not the new demand life makes of thee;
Thy ignorance doth hold no cause for sorrow
Since what thou knowest not is known to Me.

Thou canst not see today the hidden meaning
Of my command, but thou the light shalt gain;
Walk on in faith, upon My promise leaning,
And as thou goest all shall be made plain.

One step thou seest-then go forward boldly,
One step is far enough for faith to see;
Take that, and thy next duty shall be told thee,
For step by step thy Lord is leading thee.

Stand not in fear thy adversaries counting,
Dare every peril, save to disobey;
Thou shalt march on, all obstacles surmounting,
For I, the Strong, will open up the way.

Wherefore go gladly to the task assigned thee,
Having my promise, needing nothing more
Than just to know, wher’er the future find thee,
In all thy journeying I go before.

- Anonymous






He knows
He knows it all- the winding path,
The sky o’ercast and gray,
The steepness of the mountainside,
The roughness of the way.

He knows it all- the haunting fear,
The doubtings that distress,
The wond’rings and perplexities,
And all the strain and stress.

He know it all- each troubled thought,
Each anxious wave of care,
And every burden, every grief,
Or cross that thou dost bear.

He knows it all- thy weight of woe,
Thine often tear-dimmed eye,
The stabbing pain, the slow, dull ache,
And sorrow’s broken cry.

He knows it all- you are His child,
Thy wounds He takes by choice.
He gave Himself to bring you home,
So trust Him, and rejoice!


- E. Margaret Clarkson

starting c25k

well, it's been 4 months since i've blogged. ouch... nothing really blog worthy to write about though, but last night i started something new. the couch to 5k running program.

i would like to use the term "start" rather loosely, because i didn't get off to a great start. however, i did start. i just keep trying to tell myself "if i can just start running, i know i'd fall in love with it".

a friend of mine said she was going to start this program, so i thought i would check it out and thought that it didn't look that hard, so i'd give it a try. i have to do something. i just keep gaining weight and getting more and more out of shape, and if i ever want to be a missionary in a remote place, i guess i'd better be in shape before i go.

so, this program is designed to teach you how to run a 5k in 9 weeks by interval training. you go 3 times a week with a day of rest in between your workout days. it's a 20 min workout. you warm up by briskly walking for 5min and then jog 60 seconds and brisk walking 90 seconds, and continue until you have reached 20 min.

i set out thinking this was going to be a breeze. jogging for 60 seconds is like nothing right? WRONG!!! the first interval wasn't to bad, and neither was the second, actually i did okay until the 4th, so i cut that one a little short, then the 5th came and i only did 1/2 of it. then i walked the rest of the way back to the house. my hair was plastered to my head, my chest was aching, and i was sure i'd done almost the whole 20 min. i took off my nifty arm band for my ipod and checked the time, and only 10.5 min had past! i'd only done half of it and thought i was going to die!!!!

i was still panting and gasping for air and was just gross when i walked in the house. by the looks of me you would have thought i'd already did my 5k! but i didn't.

this morning i was sore and stiff! we calculated how far i'd gone and it was a mile and a half in 10.5 min, so it wasn't all that bad. i plan on going again on Monday night after class, or again on Tuesday. i want to post each time i go so maybe it will keep me motivated? it's worth a shot!

if you want to check out this program, just google it!

i'm okay being me

the only reason why i'm doing this tonight is because two great friends brought me a snack. my sole intent was to go to bed early. but then a knock came at the wall (yes, the wall) and an offering of cookies and ice cream in a cup were at my door. these are friends who love me for who i am. and this is a great intro to my post.

for many many years i could never say "God loves me". i could say "God loves you" or "God loves us" but never "God loves me". through adverse circumstances God has shown me it's okay to be me. He has showed me that he created me just the way that i am. so i like to eat ice cream out of a cup, and i like to wear bright colored socks with plaid shoes. and i have a cat named Itka. i have learned to march to the beat of my own drum. and it's taken 29 years to learn it's okay.

before i wanted to fit in so badly. i wanted to wear the right clothes, like the right things, talk the right way, only to "gain" friends, or to cling tightly to the few that i had. i felt that i had to fit into whatever my friends thought i should do. i was plagued with fear of rejection! and i knew that if i would be the real me, then it would be weird and awkward, and i would drive people away. so i kept my real self to myself. i mean we aren't just talking high school stuff here, i'm talking adult stuff! i was a mess, and i was miserable! always afraid of what people were really thinking about me, and hoping that they wouldn't find out who i really was because that would destroy everything that i was trying to be.

and i felt that God felt the same way. that if i didn't talk right, act right, dress right, hand out with the right people, then i would be unacceptable, and would be thrown to the trash heap or be sold at a discounted rate.

then, something changed. one person that i tried so hard to impress faded out of my life, and i began to be me. i began to do the things that i wanted to do how i wanted to do them. express myself in ways that i would never have done before because of fear of losing my friend. i got tired of trying to be everything that everyone wanted me to be, or better yet, everything that i thought that everyone wanted me to be. i finally began to gain some confidence. i began to be okay with me being me. and it did something.

it wasn't until i was talking with my boss and spiritual leader about something and she said "you are unique and have a unique calling on your life, and you're fine with it until things pile up." and she was so right. i began sharing some things with her. and that's when i realized that i could say "God loves me!" talk about victory! it was amazing. i've been saved for almost 8 years, but have never been able to verbalize that God loves me. it's one of the most exciting things that has happened to me in a long time.

one of the songs that has had a wonderful effect on me since the first time i heard it is "oh how He loves us" i first heard the Crowder style. and i fell in love with it. not because i had the revelation that God loves me, but because it touches a deep deep part in me, that nothing else can touch. We sang it last night in church and i cried. i just checked my itunes and i have 4 versions of that song. and one version has been played 178 times in 9 months.

i want to leave you with an encouragement:

God made us all special, and He doesn't expect you to be just like your friend or sibling, or co-worker. God made you to be you, and no one else. for you to try to fit into that moulding is unnatural and will cause harm to yourself, and people around you. i hope that if this is something that you struggle with that you will find someone to talk to. and if your friends stop being your friends after you start being you, then maybe they were never really your friends to begin with!

"oh how He loves us!"

coming soon

i think i feel a new post coming on. i've got a couple of ideas running around in my head so we'll see what we come up with!

poem

Give me the courage to live

Give me the courage to live!Really live—not merely exist.Live dangerously,Scorning risk!Live honestly,Daring the truth—Particularly the truth of myself!Live resiliently—Ever changing, ever growing, ever adapting.Enduring the pain of changeAs though ’twere the travail of birth.Give me the courage to live,Give me the strength to be freeAnd endure the burden of freedomAnd the loneliness of those without chains;Let me not be trapped by success,Nor by failure, nor pleasure, nor grief,Nor malice, nor praise, nor remorse!Give me the courage to go on!Facing all that waits on the trail—Going eagerly, joyously on,And paying my way as I go,Without anger or fear or regretTaking what life gives,Spending myself to the full,Head high, spirit winged—On . . . on . . . till the shadows draw close.Then even when darkness shuts down,And I go out alone, as I came,Naked and blind as I came—Even then, gracious God, hear my prayer:Give me the courage to live!~ by Howard Thurman (1899-1981)

Missions

we just ended our wonderful missions conference. it's one of the most wonderful times of the year. we had about 70-80 guests. we have services every night, and represetives from 9 different countries and 10 different states. on Tuesday night our speak shared this with us. i'm not really sure where it came from, but it is wonderful. it would be even more wonderful if we all lived like this. enjoy, and become a member of the fellowship of the Unashamed!




I am a part of the fellowship of the Unashamed. I have the Holy Spirit Power. The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I won’t look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still. My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, and my future is secure. I am finished and done with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tame visions, mundane talking, chintzy giving, and dwarfed goals.
I no longer need preeminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits, or popularity. I don’t have to be right, first, tops, recognized, praised, regarded, or rewarded. I now live by presence, learn by faith, love by patience, lift by prayer, and labor by power.
My pace is set, my gait is fast, my goal is Heaven, my road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions few, my Guide is reliable, my mission is clear.
I cannot be bought, compromised, deterred, lured away, turned back, diluted, or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of adversity, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity.
I won’t give up, back up, let up, or shut up until I’ve preached up, prayed up, paid up, stored up, and stayed up for the cause of Christ. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I must go until He returns, give until I drop, preach until all know, and work until He comes.
And when He comes to get His own, He will have no problem recognizing me. My colors will be clear for “I am not ashamed of the Gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes..” (Romans 1:16)

FOR I AM PART OF THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE UNASHAMED!

great new song: not of our hands by 1000 generations

Let this be not of our hands, but by Your Spirit
Let this be not of our hands, but by Your Spirit

Lord we don’t want to move without You
No we don’t want to work in vain
Lord you know we want to be used by You
But we don’t want anything built in our strength

Cause we don’t want to move
We don’t want to move without You
No, we don’t want to move
Don’t want to move without You

Let this be not of our hands, but by Your Spirit
Let this be not of our hands, but by Your Spirit
Cause we don’t want to move, don’t want to move, without You
We don’t want to move, don’t want to move, without You

Lord, You know we don’t want to go before You
No we don’t, want to keep running
So Lord we pray that we will stay found in You
For without You, we cannot do anything

We don’t want to move
We don’t want to move
Don’t want to move, without You

Not by power, not by strength
But through Your Spirit and by Your grace
If it’s on our hearts, we’ll be on our face

Created on April 10, 2008 08:03:51 by ultaviolet-whitegirl

sweet e-mail

this is a super sweet e-mail from 3 ladies from across the women's home. we wanted to bless them with a snow man, but as you can see the snow didn't stick. however, here is the super sweet e-mail.

Thank you ladies for making a beautiful snow lady. I had hoped you would be able to make a handsome snow man and then we could have Pastor and Ms. Laurie. You tried to make it Tuesday in front of our apartment but the snow did not have any moisture to hold the snow together, but we ladies in apt D enjoyed the snow show you put on for us. Thank you very much.

valentines day

today is/was valentines day. and yes, i'm single on valentines day, but, no big deal. i saw on msn or something to that effect about what to do if you're single on valentines day...again. it simply said 3 words. zappos.com yup, such a great reason to buy shoes, because i'm single on valentines day again. don't worry, i didn't do it. however i thought it was pretty funny!

Jesus was/is my valentine again this year. you can't go wrong with Him. here's some reasons why:

1) He loves God

2) He is sooo faithful and will never leave me, even when i mess up really bad and give Him the silent treatment.

3) He loves me so much that He would die for me, actually He's already done that.

4) He stays up all night to watch over me and sings over me Zeph 3:17

5) the list can go on and on and on and on and... oh you get the point!

happy valentines day!

vacation

this is a summery of vacation thus far.... above (the green leafy stuff) is my dad's hydroponics, it's his new hobby, my dad loves spending time on his plants, don't you worry, it's nothing illegal! it's actually romaine lettuce, and spinach. you know, those good for you leafy green things. and also, good pictures of my dad's snack bucket. i about fell out of the chair because i was laughing so much. dad said he's been working on something like this for about 2 years. my dad drives truck, and he likes to eat some snacks when he's driving, however, my dad is a bit of a neat freak, so the crumbs from his cookies and chips drive my dad nuts. so he made up these little buckets with strings through them to hang around his neck to catch his crumbs. anyway, i'm sure this is not near as funny to you 1) because you don't know my dad, and 2) i think it's a "you had to be there moment". i really enjoyed my time with my dad.

today i came to the Quad cities (ill, ia. border with 4 cities in it). it is quite the charming area. i'm in the hotel by myself b/c my mom's working. i took a little stroll around the block, they have a nice theater right down the road that is performing Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat. and right across the street is a charming little coffee shop called Theo's, i got a nice Carmel Latte that is perfectly blended. and around the other corner this is a Artery shop. i tried going in, but the doors were locked. i tried to get out and all the doors were locked. so i got some one's attention that was in the office, and they went to let me out and they did a great and fast job of... opening the door. that's right, it wasn't locked, i guess i just tried all the wrong doors. oh well, what would a trip to the city be worth if there was no silly stories?

i always said that i was a country girl and to live in the city would be unthinkable. however, i think it might be workable for me now!

so here you have it, the post that i promised.

what????

i promise, a real bog coming soon. Twitter has kind of taken over!