Oaxaca video

here we go again trying to load a video.  hope it works.  please watch it all, just to make me feel like someone watched it :)  it's most of my pics from Oaxaca in November.  the song is called God of Justice by Tim Huges, it's on his holding nothing back c.d.  the whole album is good.  you can find it at itunes.

wonderful song

we sang this song last Wed, we haven't sung it in forever, and i forgot how much i loved it, even more so than when we sang it last year (or whenever it was) so as soon as i got home from church i googled the lyrics (google is such a wonderful tool!) and found out it's called "No Sacrifice" by Jason Upton.  if you like different sounding music, you should try some Upton.  he's not traditional.  hope you enjoy it as much as i do.






To you I give my life, not just the parts I want to

To you I sacrifice these dreams that I hold on to



Your thoughts are higher than mine

Your words are deeper than mine

Your love is stronger than mine

This is no sacrifice

Here's my life



To you I give the gifts

Your love has given me

How can I hoard the treasures that you've designed for free?



Because

Your thoughts are higher than mine

Your words are deeper than mine

Your love is staronger than mine

This is no sacrifice

Here's my life



To you I give my future

As long as it may last

To you I give my present

To you I give my past



Because

Your thoughts are higher than mine

Your words are deeper than mine

Your love is stronger than mine

Your thoughts are higher than mine

Your words are deeper than mine

Your love is stronger than mine

This is no sacrifice

Here's my life

day at park pt 2

my day at the park

sacred pathways

today was one of those days that you would be able to romanticize away.  it was so beautiful!!!!  there was so little to do at the house today with all the ladies in different jobs, different day jobs now.  it's quiet the adjustment!  i just finished a bowl of ice cream which is the perfect snack for an evening like this.  however, i didn't get to spend much time outside.  blah, blah, blah, enough about that, now for what i want to blog about.

i've been reading this book called "Sacred Pathway" discover your soul's path to God, by Gary Thomas.  it's really cool, and good. it talks about different Christan temperaments and what is your best way to commune/serve God.  i don't have mine figured out yet.  but last night i read this part in the book and i screamed "yes!!!" inside.  i'll type it out for you, this is the temperament of Ascetics, which is loving God in solitude and simplicity, here we go:

"When i was involved in street preaching on a college campuses, the soul-wrenching and gut-busting struggles came during the moments in prayer before i actually spoke.  once i had wrestled with my fears and my doubts, the act of obedience became almost anticlimactic.  even later in life, as i've struggled with God's will, the act of obedience always seems less difficult than the prior decision to be obedient.  'don't you know where God is leading on this?' i was asked once.  

'yes, i do,' i said.  'and that's the problem.  i'm waiting for my willingness to catch up with God's.'

that's why i identify so much with Christ, alone and in agony as he prayed in Gethsemane.  it is the ultimate picture of Christianity, the picture of us struggling spiritually as God aligns our will with His.  it's the picture that fuels the ascetic spiritual temperament."

when i read that i thought, wow, someone else knows how i feel.  so many times i go through this huge struggle in my head.  do i do what i know is right?  or do i skim the edges to try to get what i want?  by the time i make the right decision, i've argued with myself for 15-20 min!  oh the agony!  i go back and forth, back and forth, and then when i finally make the decision to do right, i almost yell out the answer forcefully because i'm scared if i wait a moment longer, then i will change my mind, so i have to say it fast and loud.  people look at me like i'm crazy, but what i'm the most concerned about is not what people think about me, but what God thinks about me.  even if i look crazy.

reality check

been a bit since i've written anything, so i'll tell you about a reality check i had this morning, and i'm sure most of you will laugh because it's so silly, but very true.

a friend and i were sitting at the breakfast table, and she told me that she got the c.d. that was playing at a garage sale for a dollar. i asked her what it was, and she told me it was WOW Gospel worship then she added, but it's 1998.  i thought "so what's the big deal, it's only a couple years old."  and then it dawned on me that it's 2009 now and that CD is 11 years old!  and then yet another revelation hit me that in just 3 more days i'll be out of high school for 10 years! there is no way i could have been out of high school for 10 years!  i know that i'm 28, but seriously i really don't feel that old!  

after i got done processing all of that my just looked at me and smiled and said "welcome to my world!"

why is it that the years fly by, but we never notice that we are getting older until something like this happens or until we look in a mirror and we don't look 18 anymore, or if someone points out our first grey hair (no one has done that to me yet!), but just something to ponder!

small miracle

just thought i would share this with you.  i'm so proud of "my ladies" and all the hard work they did.  about 12 people made enough food (including dessert) for 475 people, and 8 ladies got home, showered and ready for church in 30 min, we were 2 min late for the first song!  talk about a miracle!

gardening

Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful mom's.  in case your kids never tell you, you are appreciated greatly, even though they may not tell  you now, they will when they are 28, and yes, they will be 28 some day :)

so as you know it's that wonderful time of the year where everyone starts planting flowers.  this year we did something different, well, actually a lot different.  mom showed us a cool catalog that had some different bulbs and plants and other fun stuff.  so we got a butterfly/hummingbird garden that is bulbs, and they come back every year.  so it was a great deal, we ended up with 40 some plants for $45.00, what a deal, then the ladies put in some money, so i had a total of $108 to spend on flowers.

the plants came in the mail last Saturday, so of course we had to plant them.  we were a little skeptical, especially when someone asked me which end was up, i told them to plant them sideways (lol, not really).  this week we were out there looking and some of the bulbs were coming up already!  we were stoked and relieved, knowing that it was going to come out okay.

then for the next fun project i decided i would like some edging around our little flower garden it's like 12 feet long and maybe 5 feet wide, but thought brick edging would look nice, you know the scallops?  so we bought 25 of them thinking that would be plenty.  we were like 4 short!  ugh, but fortunately someone was going back to Wal Mart, so we were saved.  so last night we wanted to finish it, and didn't know how to break some of the bricks to make them fit.  i thought, hmmm, we have a hammer and a flat head screw driver, so we should be able to break them that way.  well, i tried, didn't get very far and decided that wouldn't work.  then one of the ladies came and said "here, this is what we need to do, i'll stand on it with the last scallop hanging off the step and you hit it with the hammer and it should break."  we bowed our heads in prayer for a brief moment, then went to work.  and guess what?  it turned out beautiful!  absolutely perfect!  we were so excited that we would get to do it again.  and now we have enough bricks for the garden.  it took so much work to do it, so many trips out to the road to make sure they were even, and we got tired of digging, so i started stepping on them to make them go down instead of digging and it worked!  we decided that we would have a side job for landscaping!

had all the ladies pitch in to help mulch around where all the bulbs were and it looks wonderful.  now we just have to wait for the bulbs to grow!  it's gonna be beautiful!

to involved?

so, in case you don't know, i like American Idol, a whole bunch.  i've had to back away from it at times b/c i would let it consume to much of my time!  trying to figure out a way to watch it thinking about who would win ect.  yeah, so i quit watching it for a few weeks.  but when it got down to the last 7 i started watching again.  

i'd missed the past week or 2, so i was excited to go to my friends house to use her treadmill and to be able to watch it.  it makes time go so much faster when you're watching something you like.  anyway, it was down to the last 4.  1 girl and 3 boys.  i tend to like male voices better than female voices, but the girl was good!  one person had to go home. i hoped it wasn't one of the two that i was going for!  so i'm watching with great anticipation, and as they kept annoucning those that were still on the show and both of the guys i was routing for were "safe", i almost jumped up and down on the treadmill.

that's when i had the thought, maybe i'm a little to involved.

soooo excited!

hey guys!  i'm super excited, i just check itunes for findingbethel music, and they have a new mini album on there with the song surrender on it!!! yeah!!! everyone go and buy it!   3 songs for $2.46 (or something to that effect) or you can google it and click on their myspace page and it has all 3 songs on there.  and it's free!  in case you're wondering, findingbethel is our home church band of 3 guys who love God and lead us in worship.  they are all home written songs!  enjoy!

loved

let's try this again, i was almost done, and some how i deleted it.

tonight at church it was really good.  our Pastor had back surgery on Thursday so was unable to preach tonight, so we opted for something a little different.  Testimonies, it's always great to hear people's testimonies especially in our church. our church has 4 recovery programs, men's, women's, youth boys, and youth girls.  we see God work in such amazing ways every single day, so the Men of the House were encouraged to get up and say a word, which was nice, normally the ladies take over the stage!  lol... 

anyway, it seemed that something kept coming up today and it was Psalms 139.  this Psalm has very special meaning to me.  a lot of the time i tend to doubt God's love for me.  as Ms. Audrey would say, i think that God got me out of the nickle bin at Dollar General.  so i think that God just tolerates me, not really love me.  but reading this Psalm, making it personal helps a lot.  while i was in Oaxaca a lady saw this in me.  i don't remember her name, or if she even gave me her name, but she knew that i had a hard time with this.  one night after a service in Oaxaca she came and told me "you are special, God loves you very very much and so do i.  i want you to read Psalms 139 and later we will talk about it."  i went to the hotel room and read it, however time did not allow us to get together so she could tell me all the things she wanted to tell me, but the memory lives on in my heart.  i'm going to type out this Psalm, and i know that many of us could quote parts of it, and it so familiar, but i would like for you to read it slow, maybe out loud, and put yourself in it.  make it personal.  think that all the "me's" and "i's" are really talking about you, think that God had David write this just so you would know that you are loved.  and after reading Psalms 139, there are lyrics to a Rich Mullins song called "nothing is beyond You."  if you have never had the privilege of hearing Rich Mullins i'll tell you just a couple of quick things.  he wrote the song "our God is an awesome God", he played the hammered dulcimer, he had a passion for life, and for Jesus and it shows through his music, he died in a Jeep accident in 1997, i cried that day, anyway, you should either 1) buy one of his c.d's or 2) download some of his music from itunes, it's really amazing.  so without any further adue, here is Psalms 139 out of the HCSB:

Lord, You have searched me and known me.

You know when i sit and when i stand up;

You understand my thoughts from far away.

You observe my travels and my rest;

You are aware of all my ways.

before a word is on my tongue, 

You know all about it, Lord.

You have encircled me;

You have placed Your hand on me.

this extraordinary knowledge is beyond me.

it is lofty; i am unable to reach it.

where can i go to escape Your Spirit?

Where can i flee from Your presence?

if i go up to heaven, You are there;

if i make my bed in Sheol, You are there.

if i live at the eastern horizon

or settle at the western limits,

even there Your hand will lead me;

Your right hand will hold on to me.

if i say "surely the darkness will hide me,

and the light around me will become night"-

even the darkness is not dark to You.

the night shines like the day;

darkness and light are alike to You.

for it was You who created my inward parts;

You knit me together in my mother's womb.

i will praise You,

because i have been remarkably and wonderfully made.

Your works are wonderful,

and i know this very well.

my bones were not hidden from You

when i was made in secret,

when i was formed in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes saw me when i was formless;

all my days were written in Your book and planned

before a single one of them began.

God, how difficult Your thoughts are

for me to comprehend;

how vat their sum is!

if i counted them, 

they would outnumber the grains of sand;

when i wake up, i am still with You.

God, if only You would kill the wicked-

you bloodthirsty men, stay away from me-

who invoke You deceitfully.

Your enemies swear by You falsely.

Lord, don't i hate those who hate you, 

and detest those who rebel against You?

i consider them my enemies.

search me, God, and know my heart;

test me and know my concerns.

see if there is any offensive way in me;

lead me in the everlasting way.

now for the lyrics:

Where could I go, where could I run
Even if I found the strength to fly
And if I rose on the wings of the dawn
And crashed through the corner of the sky
If I sailed past the edge of the sea
Even if I made my bed in Hell
Still there You would find me
'Cause nothing is beyond You
You stand beyond the reach
Of our vain imaginations
Our misguided piety
The heavens stretch to hold You
And deep cries out to deep
Singing that nothing is beyond You
Nothing is beyond You
Time cannot contain You
You fill eternity
Sin can never stain You
Death has lost its sting
And I cannot explain the way You came to love me
Except to say that nothing is beyond You
Nothing is beyond You
If I should shrink back from the light
So I can sink into the dark
If I take cover and I close my eyes
Even then You would see my heart
And You'd cut through all my pain and rage
The darkness is not dark to You
And night's as bright as day
Nothing is beyond You
You stand beyond the reach
Of our vain imaginations
Our misguided piety
The heavens stretch to hold You
And deep cries out to deep
Singing that nothing is beyond You
Nothing is beyond You
And time cannot contain You
You fill eternity
Sin can never stain You
And death has lost its sting
And I cannot explain the way You came to love me
Except to say that nothing is beyond You
Nothing is beyond You
Nothing is beyond You

now that it's all said and done, i'm glad i lost the first one, this one came out better! :)

ahh, memories

someone once told me that it takes a lifetime to make memories, i believe mom and i made at least 3 if not more yesterday.  i know that it is a day that will go down in history for both of us.  but we lived....see the story below!!! 

*begin dramatic theme music*

it was finally a bright and sunshiny thursday, with a slight breeze.  i get to mom's and i hear the garage beckoning for us to come and clean it!  so we obeyed the voice that we heard.

at first it wasn't so bad, just sorta "get in there and get it done" sorta deal.  a little scary not know what we would find in there after 8 years, but ya know, not to bad.  mom and i are tearing up stuff, throwing tons (literally it felt like tons) of stuff away.  bags full, shovels full, a team lift full, but we were getting it done.

one of my big things that i wanted to find was my clarinet from high school.  i even remembered what it was in and everything, so i thought no problem finding right?  wrong!  i didn't count on the container to be broken down into a million pieces, but mom spotted it.  good eye mom!  so i go and i'm really excited about it, but there is all this stuff on top of it, and well, i was a little nervous about moving everything with my hand so i got a pvc pipe and was moving all the debris off.  and i saw this big ugly creepy bug with like a bazillion legs (okay, maybe i'm exaggerating just a little) anyway, it was creepy and i screamed and ran out of the garage.  mom thought i was just so excited to see my clarinet that i screamed, but after she saw me running she thought maybe there was something more to it, so i told her about the big ugly creepy bug.  i asked if she would be the most wonderful mom in the world and clean it off for me so i could see inside, and she did.  and she is the most wonderful mom in the world.  anyway, i was a little wigged out so she opened the case for me.  the clarinet was in sad shape, i hope we can get it fixed.

so we get past that little escapade and about an hour or so later we are trying to move some big cabinet thing.  one that had drawers in it too.  it was big, maybe 7 or 8 foot long, so the first project is to get the counter off.  both of us go to pull it off, and a leaf moves and mom freaks out because she thinks it's a mouse, but false alarm.  the counter is  way to heavy for us to heeve-ho it over the dumpster.  by the time we got it most of the way off, it was at an angle and we thought we could break it, wrong by a long shot.  so  i think, "I'm gonna have some fun with this!"  so i told mom to stand still so she could be my brace 'cause i was going to karate kick it in 2 right?  wrong, i kicked it like 5 times and never even broke it.

so here we are at a stand still trying to figure out what to do, i'm determined to get this in the dumpster so it would look like we did something!  mom says something about a sledge hammer!  alright!  deconstruction!  i like that.  mom goes to pick up the hammer and the handle it rotted off, so it's just the sledge part.  i thought okay, i can work with that, so i throw the sledge at the counter top like 10 times to finally break it (it must of been very well built!)  anyway, we finally get the counter top broken down and in the dumpster.

and we finally have a chance to look, and in the first drawer, there is this nest lookin' thing, and boy is it big!  so we talk about it and mom says "I hope it's not a rat" and it's time for another break.  so mom is sitting for a few min. and i'm taking out the drawers b/c the whole thing would be to heavy for us to carry, so i take out 2 drawers, i leave the one with the nest in it until last so i could muster up the courage to move it.  and i get to the second to last drawer.  man, it was hard to get unstuck.  it was so warped that i had to brace myself against something to get the drawer out. 

 

finally it comes out, and i see this big pink pointy nose with whiskers wiggling at me!!!!!

i totally freaked out!  i was screaming and running, and i guess i scream real loud and run real fast when i'm scared.  mom was in hot pursuit right behind me, and she didn't even know what it was at the time!!!!  i'm out in the road still screaming and shaking and trying to catch my breath and mom finally asked me what it was, and i told her a rat!  i said "i'm done, i'm done, i'm done, i'm done!"  that was all i could say!!!!  and when i finally quit screaming i was laughing!  and yet panting for breath.   

we then stood in the road and talked about how stupid that thing was because it just sat there.  with all the noise we'd been making and me throwing a sludge about 4 feet away from where it was, it never moved, never came out or anything, just wiggled it's long whiskers and bright pink nose at me.  did i mention this thing looked as big as a large house cat?  anyway, i was freaked out.  

once we got into the house, mom and i were laughing about it, and i could only say that i was glad it was me and not mom.  she would of passed out on the floor.  mom told me she wouldn't have passed out, but we would of been selling the house because she would of had a heart attack!  anyway, we were laughing about it then.  mom said if it would of came out after us, we would have been running to Keokuk!

i was on my way home and mom called me and said that she'd talked to her sister and her sister thought it was a possum because of how big it was and the fact that it didn't move.  rats would have come running out after us or something.  once i found out it was a possum and not a rat, i was able to calm down so much better.  i didn't even dream about it!

so there are more memories in the making.  hope you enjoyed!